Hey Baby
by bookdiva
Summary: Kensi comes home for a rather surprising reason! I started this as a one-shot for Home At Last, but it quickly morphed into something more! Please read and review!
1. The Surprise

_**AN: This just hit me, and I wrote it in less than an hour, so it's a little rough… But I just had to post it! This will, again, be a two-parter. Keep an open mind, and message me/review if you have ideas for part 2 (in Deeks's POV)… Read, review, and enjoy!**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

"So I was thinking…" Sabatino said, coming to sit beside her. Kensi looked up from absentmindedly playing with her MRE to see the CIA agent sliding in too close for comfort.

In the two and a half months that Kensi had been stationed in Afghanistan, Sabatino had been an annoying familiar face. And sadly—since he was slightly preferable to Granger, and the rest of the team was super closed-off—he was the closest thing to a friend that she had here.

Today, however, Kensi was feeling slightly nauseous. Her back ached, and her stomach felt like it was going to come out her throat. She most definitely didn't feel like subtly avoiding his blatant advances.

"…you know," he continued when she didn't respond. "If we make it back to the states—"

"_When_ we make it back," Kensi corrected, shooting him a fierce glare.

_I will come back, Max_, she vowed again silently. She really couldn't consider any other option. She'd do her job, she'd return, and they'd…

_What? You'll _what_, exactly? Pick up where you left off? Where exactly _was_ that, again?_

She shook her head and turned her glare down to the slop that passed for food at the base.

"Okaaaaay, right," he pressed on, leaning away from her only slightly. "Well _when_ we get back to the states—to Los Angeles—we'll have to go get that drink."

_Okay, that's it! Can't this guy take a hint?_

"No thank you," she said through clenched teeth. It was taking every last ounce of her energy not to explode at the man.

"C'mon Kensi," he said, leaning his back against the table and catching her gaze. "It could be fun."

"_Fun?_" she repeated incredulously. She'd officially reached the end of her rope. "No, it would not be _fun_. Since you obviously cannot take a hint, I'll give it to you straight. I. Am. _Not_. Interested. Got it?"

"Okay, geeze," he said, standing up and backing away. He held his hands up in surrender. "I didn't realize I'd be risking my life, asking you out. That time of the month, or something?"

He clearly expected more of the homicidal rage she'd been displaying thus far, but his words made Kensi freeze.

_Time of the month… _she was staggered in realization. _I've… I've been here for over two months, and I haven't… Oh god… _

She felt all the blood drain from her face as the realization dawned and icy fear flowed immediately into her veins and throughout her body.

"Kensi, are you okay?" Sabatino's genuinely worried voice snapped her out of her shock.

Kensi looked up at him and, pulling on every bit of undercover training she'd ever received, she managed a curt, "I'm fine. Excuse me."

She somehow managed to walk at a semi-normal pace to her bunk where she carefully shut the door, climbed in her bed, and proceeded to freak out.

_This cannot be possible,_ she argued with herself. _It was only once! And before that it was…._

And that was where she stopped, because it had been months before he'd kissed her—before he'd been tortured—since she'd even been out on a date.

And then she realized that there was no way she was wrong. She'd missed two 'times of the month', and she was well on her way to missing a third—possibly already had, too. That had never happened to her before.

Before she consciously knew what she was doing, she'd pulled the SAT phone out and opened it. Her finger was hovering over the button to call Deeks before common sense overrode her wild emotions. She snapped the phone closed and squeezed her eyes shut.

She needed to process this rationally.

_Okay, Kens,_ she told herself. _One thing at a time. Am I… keeping him?_

She placed a hand over her still-flat stomach and smiled. She'd answered her own question in the question. Sure, she had no way of knowing, but when she closed her eyes, she could see her little boy: wild blonde hair and eyes as blue as his fathers, but mismatched like hers.

The image began to chase away the icy fear, and in its stead, she felt a warm feeling begin to spread throughout her body, starting underneath the hand that still rested on her abdomen. She felt an intense wave of love flood over her—like nothing she'd ever experienced before—and she knew she'd do whatever it took to protect this new life.

_What will Deeks say?_

The thought brought back some of the cold fear.

Unbidden, Kensi was assaulted by images—memories—and she let herself drown in them.

She saw him bouncing on the trampoline with a little girl from one of their cases.

_"I haven't heard her laugh like that in so long." _

_"Yeah, he has that effect on people."_

Then she pictured him in that ridiculous tennis outfit, dodging balls that the little boy from another case, Sean, was sending his way.

_"I wish his father would do things like that with him."_

Finally, she saw the conversation between Deeks and Ray that she wasn't supposed to witness.

_"I have a chance to be a dad. You know what that means to me."_

_"I do." _

She could still hear the conviction—and the longing—in his voice. It was exactly what she needed to chase away any residual fears.

She pulled out her phone and powered it up. Since she was convinced she'd be leaving soon, she was no longer as concerned about conserving the battery. She pulled up the picture of the team in the gym and again zoomed in on her and Deeks.

She focused on the way his eyes sparkled, and she smiled. Resting her hand over her abdomen, she turned out the lights and looked at her phone.

"Goodnight, Deeks," she whispered, closing her eyes. "Good night, baby Deeks."

* * *

Kensi awoke five hours later to a near-silent alarm. For a moment, she stayed completely still, letting her realization from the night before come back to her. In the morning light, the realization was slightly more terrifying. Again, the cold fear played around the edges of her mind. But then she realized that he hand was still protectively over her stomach, and she smiled.

Her dreams had been filled with images of blue eyes—both Deeks's eyes, and their baby boy's. The thought instantly caused her heart rate to even out and the fear to leave her mind.

She took out the SAT phone and dialed.

"I wasn't expecting to hear from you again so soon, Ms. Blye," Hetty answered. Kensi opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out.

"Ms. Blye?" Hetty repeated after a long moment.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm here Hetty," Kensi managed. She took a deep breath. "Do you remember what you said to me before you went to Romania?"

Hetty was silent for a long moment, and Kensi could tell that she'd taken her boss by surprise.

"You said that the true challenge in our lives is to know when to stop," Kensi said when Hetty stayed silent.

"I'm assuming, since you called me on an emergency secured line, that you have more on your mind than a trip down memory lane, Ms. Blye?" Hetty asked after another silent moment.

"Yeah, Hetty," Kensi said, steeling herself. "It's time for me to stop."

* * *

Fourteen hours later, Kensi was on a military plane, flying over some ocean. She had a two-hour layover in London, then a direct commercial flight to LAX. She smiled, and as was becoming completely normal to her, placed a hand across her abdomen.

"We're almost home, baby Deeks," she whispered to herself. Out the window, the city lights became visible. "Soon."

She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

Hetty had taken the news much better than she'd anticipated. In fact, unless she was going crazy—and Kensi had to acknowledge that, given the circumstances, it was a realistic possibility—it had sounded like Hetty was… _overjoyed_.

Kensi smiled at that thought and felt herself slip into a light sleep.

She awoke as the wheels touched the runway, and she stretched her legs out in front of her. When they'd taxied to the parking place, the plane's hatched opened and she disembarked. She couldn't wait to get inside.

Once inside the London International Airport, she quickly found her terminal. Looking at her watch, she realized that she had just a little under two hours before her flight departed, so she dropped her things off at the front desk—being a Federal Agent did have its perks—and headed off to the nearest drug store.

She didn't have any doubts that she was pregnant, but when she told Deeks, she wanted to have something physical to show him.

It took her a half hour to find a shop that carried pregnancy tests, and since they only had one brand, the decision was easy. She paid the cashier—who gave her a funny look—in cash, and headed to the nearest bathroom.

She went into the handicap stall in the corner of the—mercifully—empty ladies room, peed on the stick, and then sat in the opposite corner to wait the required ten minutes.

As she waited, she couldn't help but think of Deeks.

_I wonder what he's up to right now…_ she thought. It was early morning in LA. _Probably hitting the waves before work._

She smiled as she imagined him teaching their son to surf. She could see the way he'd patiently explain it, over and over, while still making it fun.

_He will be a great dad. _

She had absolutely no doubts about him. He'd built his life around being everything that his own father hadn't been. While she wasn't so confident in her own ability to be a mother, she did recognize that she already loved her son. And besides, with her partner to help her, she could do anything.

Her phone blared techno, signaling time to look at the test. It was silly—she knew the truth—but somehow, standing up and grabbing that test would make it all real.

She sat on the floor and listened to the whole song—all six minutes of it—before she slid the alarm off, got up, and peered at the plastic stick that would confirm the biggest news of her life.

Her breath caught in her throat at the (+) on the digital screen. A tear slipped unnoticed down her cheek as she hugged that little plastic stick close to her body.

She stood up and exited the ladies room feeling a renewed sense of determination. She swung into another little shop and asked the young boy behind the counter for a box. He'd looked at her strangely, then directed her to a small aisle of gift wrapping.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I just want a small box, plain. Like you ship things in."

Again, the boy looked at her like she was nuts, but he went into the back and came back out with exactly what she was looking for.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed. She tried to pay for it, but the boy waved her off. She left for her terminal with fifteen minutes to spare. She used the time to tape her package shut.

* * *

The plane landed at LAX at 0300 hours on January 8, 2014. Three hours into Deeks's 35th birthday.

_Perfect. _

Being a Federal Agent, she didn't bother with customs or security. Hetty had arranged all of that ahead of time. She simply grabbed her backpack and her box and headed to the taxi cab.

Forty-five minutes later she was standing outside her partner's door, trying to decide what to do. She raised her fist to knock, but decided to pull her SAT phone out instead. Touching the button, she connected to her partner's SAT phone and leaned against the door. She heard a sudden, shrill beeping coming from inside the apartment, and she couldn't help but smile.

_He turned the volume all the way up so he wouldn't miss my call,_ she realized. There was a slight thump from the other side of the door, and them Deeks's sleep-laden voice came over the static of the SAT phone.

"Kens? Is everything okay? Are you okay?" His voice was scratchy and deep from sleep, but he sounded fully attentive to whatever her answer was. Instead of just a verbal reply, she knocked.

"Everything is good, Deeks," she answered his concerned question. "I just need my partner to let me in."

"What?" Deeks asked, sounding really confused. "This again, Kens? I thought you understood. I did say what I meant, and I don't really know what else you—"

"No, Deeks," she interrupted him, chuckling softly. "I literally need you to let me in, or I'll kick down your door."

"You—what—I—huh?"

There were more shuffling noises, a quiet band, and then the door swung open. Suddenly her partner was standing in front of her, his wild blond curls even wilder than usual and his ocean-blue eyes sparkling with joy, surprise, disbelief…

Neither one spoke a word. He reached out his hand slowly, his eyes full of disbelief until his hand reached her cheek. Then his eyes flashed like a blue fire, and before she knew what was happening, she was in his arms, kissing him like her life depended on it.

"Happy birthday, Deeks," she whispered when they finally pulled apart.

He smiled and nuzzled her nose.

"So you remembered this year Fern?" he teased her, pulling her even closer, the box awkwardly squished between them. His eyes left hers for a brief second, then snapped back up. "What's this? Another box?"

"I finally realized, Deeks," she said breathlessly. "I didn't get it right the first time. And I'm sorry. But I swear, I got it right this time, Deeks. This is everything you've ever wanted. I got it _right_ this time."

* * *

**_TBC… :)_**


	2. Most in the World

The waves were wild and the water was cold, but Deeks pulled on his wet suit anyway and headed out to the surf. He rode the waves, effectively clearing his mind from a rather restless night.

He had adamantly refused to allow himself to go back to the place he'd been post-Siderov. He was sleeping close to five or six hours a night—sometimes less, but he was working on that—talking with Nate over Skype sometimes, and he even went out with the guys when they invited him along.

He knew that Kensi would be back, and if this was a test to see if their thing could work within their partnership, then he was damn well going to pass it. With flying colors.

He headed up to the beach showers around 7:30. As had become his routine in the past few months, he showered off quickly, pulled fresh clothes out of his go bag, and headed toward work. He took the long way, stoping at their favorite donut shop. He bought a dozen of her favorites automatically, without thinking.

_Well, I'll just set them out,_ he thought to himself when he realized what he'd done. _Sam and Callen can enjoy them. _

Even with taking the long way, LA traffic, and stopping for donuts, he arrived at the mission a little before 8:30. He sat the donuts on the counter in the middle of the mission and headed toward the Firing Range to shoot a few targets before burying himself in paperwork.

* * *

A half hour later, he was walking toward his desk when he noticed something off. Hetty was sitting at her desk, completely visible, scowling at someone on the phone. Immediately, cold dread filled his veins.

_Kensi,_ his stubborn brain screamed at him. _Something's wrong with Kensi. _

He started hesitantly toward Hetty's desk, and she looked up at the sound of him approaching. As she looked up at him, the scowl immediately fell from her face, replaced by the biggest smile he'd ever seen from Hetty.

He stopped in his tracks, head tilted to the side in confusion.

There was nothing secretive or deceiving about the look on Hetty's face. It was joy—pure, simple joy. She stopped speaking and set the phone down on it's cradle, effectively cutting off whoever she'd been speaking to, and grinned up at him.

"Good morning, Mr. Deeks," she said cheerily.

"Is it?" he asked hesitantly. After all, if Hetty was smiling at him like that, Kensi had to be okay.

"It is, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said, nodding sagely. She was back to her usual, mysterious persona. "Indeed it is."

"Does… does this have s-something to do… with, uh, with—" Deeks struggled to get the question out.

"I'm afraid her mission is still incomplete," Hetty said. "But let me assure you, all is well."

"Riiiiight…" Deeks said, drawing out the word. "Okay. That's… good? That's good. I'll just… go… over… yeah…" He turned on his heel and made his way to his desk, glancing over his shoulder periodically in confusion.

"Morning, Deeks," Callen said from his place at his desk.

"Hmm, yeah, mornin'," Deeks said, his attention still fixed on the place Hetty had been standing. Callen noticed his distraction.

"Everything okay?" he asked the detective. Deeks finally turned and looked at him, shaking off his worries.

"Yeah. I mean… yeah. Yeah, it's good. Hetty's just…" he trailed off, unsure of how to say it. When he noticed Callen's raised eyebrows, he just said, "She was _smiling_ at me."

He didn't have to say any more. Callen's eyes just flashed in understanding, and he shook his head.

"You're screwed."

Deeks snorted, but inside, he was grateful for the comic relief.

"Wow. Thank you for the support, oh wise team leader," he said sarcastically.

"What'd you do this time, Deeks?" Sam asked as he sat his bag down and leaned against his desk.

"Nothing!" Deeks protested. Both senior agents looked at him in disbelief. "Seriously, I haven't done anything yet today that could possibly get me into trouble!"

"Mmmhmmm…" Callen said, shaking his head and chuckling softly. "Yet."

"How long you been here, Deeks?" Sam asked in a serious tone.

Deeks shifted his weight back and forth uncomfortably, but replied in a steady tone, "I got in around 8:30. Figured I'd do a little target practice," he added to shift the topic. Sam didn't take the bait.

"Mmhmm, and what time did you get up this morning?" he asked.

"Five," Deeks replied. Sam raised his eyebrows. "Okay, 4:30, but I had to walk Monty, and I wanted to get in some good waves before I got to work."

"And you were still early," Sam said, shaking his head. "What did you do last night?"

_Oh, for the love of…_

_"_What is this, 20 questions for Deeks?" Deeks asked, trying to keep the genuine irritation out of his voice. With the experience of years of practice, he kept his tone light. "For your information, I went out last night."

_Okay, that's stretching it a little bit,_ he admitted to himself, but he held Sam's gaze steadily, refusing to let the senior agent see through his hastily thought up cover story.

"Yes, Mr. Deeks," Hetty appeared out of nowhere, interrupting the stare down between the two men. "I heard all about your _'night out'_, as you like to call it."

Deeks swallowed nervously and turned to Hetty. He sent her a look that he hoped conveyed his wish for her silence, but she continued, "I thought I was quite clear that you were not to take on any traffic duties for LAPD."

Sam gave him a concerned look, and Callen laughed.

"That was your _'night out'_ Deeks?" Callen asked incredulously. "Doing _traffic duty_?"

"Okay, first of all, I wasn't _'doing traffic duty'_, I was working undercover as a new traffic cop in order to discretely watch two beat cops who were also on patrol in the area." He turned to Hetty. "You never said anything about _undercover_ work for LAPD. And second, Hetty, how do you even know about that?"

"You're not the only one with friends on the force, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said, tilting her head. That mysterious, joyful smile was still on her face.

"Ha, no… yeah, I think _you_ might be the only one with friends on the force," Deeks said, attempting to lighten the mood. His three co-workers laughed, understanding Deeks's meaning. It was no secret that he was probably the least popular cop at the precinct.

Deeks sighed in relief, but the feeling didn't last long. Eric's whistle rang out in the mission.

"Case on deck," Eric called. All three men stood, but Hetty just stayed still, grinning at him. Deeks just nodded at her uncomfortably and followed the guys up to OPS.

"Okay, I thought you were exaggerating, but that was kinda creepy," Callen said as they climbed the stairs.

"Tell me about it," Deeks mumbled under his breath.

"You think it's Kensi?" Sam asked. "Maybe she's coming home."

Deeks fought back a blush at Sam's insinuation.

"Nah, already asked that," he shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. "Hetty said her mission was still incomplete."

"Oh," Sam said, looking down. Then he brightened. "So, any plans for your birthday tomorrow?"

Deeks bit back a groan, unconsciously speeding up his pace.

"Uh, yeah, I was, uh, thinking about carrying on the tradition from last year," he said, avoiding Sam's questioning gaze.

"What tradition?" he asked, sounding genuinely interested. Deeks sighed and turned to look at Sam, hoping his gaze could convey more than his words would.

"Forgetting it," he said simply. He forced a smirk, then walked through the sliding doors to OPS. "Whatcha got for us, Eric?"

* * *

The day was finally over close to midnight. It was a rather cut-and-dry weapons deal, and after a simple undercover sting in a loud club, the team was packing up their things.

"We're going out for drinks tomorrow night," Sam said, his tone daring anyone to argue with him. They were all tired, so they just nodded, Deeks a little less enthusiastically than the others.

They all headed their separate ways.

When Deeks reached his apartment, he let Monty out. He was so tired that he was out the second his head hit the pillow. He slept for three, blissful, dreamless hours before he was startled awake by an incessant beeping. A completely _welcomed_ incessant beeping.

He reached for the phone on his bedside table, but he was sleepy and misjudged the distance. He fell off the bed with a soft thud. He cursed under his breath, grabbed the phone.

"Kens? Is everything okay? Are you okay?" He couldn't keep the concern out of his voice. After all, it couldn't be a coincidence, Hetty's strange behavior and a call from Kensi on the same day…

He thought there was a knock at his door, but then he figured he was hearing things again and focused on her voice.

"Everything is good, Deeks," she answered his concerned question. "I just need my partner to let me in."

"What?" he asked, completely confused. _I thought she knew. I thought we were past this. _"This again, Kens? I thought you understood. I did say what I meant, and I don't really know what else you—"

"No, Deeks," she interrupted him, chuckling softly. He really didn't see the humor in the situation. "I literally need you to let me in, or I'll kick down your door."

"You—what—I—huh?" he struggled to comprehend her words as he pulled himself off the floor. He ran to the door, running into the coffee table on the way. He held back a curse and kept going.

He swung the door open, and there was his partner. She was standing in front of him, her SAT phone at her side, clutching a package in her other hand.

Neither one spoke a word.

_She's not really here,_ his mind screamed. _You're dreaming. She's a mirage. It can't be real..._

He reached out his hand slowly, his mind swimming with disbelief, until his hand reached her cheek. Then he couldn't take it anymore, and before he really knew what was happening, she was in his arms, the way it always should've been. He poured everything into the kiss.

"Happy birthday, Deeks," she whispered when they finally pulled apart.

He smiled and nuzzled her nose, reveling in the feel of her in his arms where she belonged.

"So you remembered this year Fern?" he teased her, pulling her even closer, the box awkwardly squished between them. His eyes wandered down to the object pressed between them. "What's this? Another box?"

_But I haven't opened the last box! _He smiled. _This box thing is kinda becoming a tradition. Maybe this is the tradition we should carry on._

"I finally realized, Deeks," she said breathlessly.

His brow furrowed in confusion.

"I didn't get it right the first time," she continued. "And I'm sorry. But I swear, I got it right this time, Deeks. This is everything you've ever wanted. I got it _right_ this time."

"No," he said shaking his head and cupping her face in his hands. "_You're_ everything I ever wanted. And you're here."

"Yeah, I'm here, so—" She smiled knowingly, and motioned to the box.

"Wait a second," he said, cutting her off. "Hetty said your mission was still incomplete. So… how are you here?"

"Are you complaining?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No!" he reassured her quickly. "I just—I mean, what I meant was, uh…"

"I know what you meant, Deeks," she said, smiling nervously. "And if you'll let me in, I'll explain."

"Oh. _Oh_! Right… yeah, um, come in," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the apartment. He sat on the couch beside her and pulled her close. They were both silent for a long moment, reveling in just being together.

"I told you last year that I'd gotten you something you've always wanted. More than anything in the world," she said, breaking the silence and looking down at her hands which were clasped tightly in her lap. They kept twitching like she'd rather have them somewhere else.

"Yeah," he said nodding, not really seeing the correlation to the case. But, after four years with her, he'd learned to go with it. He was so glad to have her back with him, he would've sat there and listened to her talk about anything.

"Well, I was wrong. And I should've known I was wrong. This thing," she said, picking up the box and holding it to her, "is what you've wanted most in the world. At least, I… I _hope_ it is. Because I didn't realize until I had it that it's what I wanted most in the world, too."

He looked deep into her eyes, trying to decipher the deeper meaning her read in her words. She finally looked up and met his gaze.

"I—I need you to open it," she said, pushing the box into his hands. "Now."

He nodded, pulled her in for another kiss, then reluctantly pulled away and stood up. Fear flashed in her eyes.

"Where are you going?" she asked. standing up with him. He smiled.

"I'm just going to get the knife," he said, walking back to his bedroom. He reached under his pillow and pulled out the knife she'd given him before she'd left.

He walked back out and she smiled when she saw the knife in his hands.

"It kept you safe," she said, sounding relieved and amazed and something else that he couldn't put his finger on.

"No," he corrected with a smile. "I kept it safe."

"Touché," she said with a smile. For a long moment he just stared, lost in her mismatched chocolate eyes. "Oh, c'mon, Deeks! Open it!"

He chuckled and slid the knife along the seams, effectively removing the tape. He took a deep breath. While he had no idea what the box contained, he knew somewhere deep down that the contents would forever change his life. He pulled the flaps open and peered inside to see the most ridiculous amount of packing peanuts he'd ever seen.

He looked up at her incredulously.

"Packing peanuts?" he asked with a smirk. "No offense, Princess, but—"

"Just… just look," she said, not even cracking a smile. Her eyes were tight with

"Hey," he said, setting the box aside to pull her close. "Hey, it's okay. No matter what, I've got you, and you've got me. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

When he saw her small smile he realized that that had been the exact right thing to say. She nodded.

"Okay," she said in a small voice.

"Okay," he repeated, picking up the box again. He reached his hand into the sea of packing peanuts until his hand closed over a long, plastic object. His confusion lasted as long as it took for him to pull the object out of the box.

_A pregnancy test? A… pregnancy test. Oh my god, a pregnancy test! Is it… _He quickly flipped it over. There was a little plus sign on the digital screen, and suddenly his whole world stopped.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he should say something, look at her, smile, breathe… SOMETHING! But he was absolutely frozen.

First, he felt a wave of disbelief.

_It was only once!_

Then he felt a wave of fear.

_I-I can't… I'm not… what if… I can't…_

And then he felt her hand on his shoulder. He tore his eyes away from the test in his hands and met her mismatched gaze. It was then that he felt the most overwhelming emotion of them all: joy. And it swept away every ounce of fear and disbelief.

As he met her anxious gaze, he felt a smile spread across his face. He carefully placed the test back in the box and set it on the table, never breaking their gaze until he pulled her into his arms.

"You got it right, Kens," he whispered. "You got it more than right."

He felt the tension leave her body as she relaxed against him. He just held her close, smiling as he remembered her words from earlier.

_"…I didn't realize until I had it that it's what I wanted most in the world, too."_

She was right. Now they had everything they'd ever wanted. More than anything in the world.


	3. Being Back

_**AN: Wow! Thank you for all the reviews! You guys seriously rock! I'm not sure how long this story will be, but I'll keep going as long as I have ideas! Thank you all so much for the positive feedback :) Here's the longest chapter yet!**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

She was dragged through the door by her overly enthusiastic partner, and unceremoniously plopped on the couch. She began to retort about his smooth moves when he settled in beside her, and as he pulled her close, she realized that there was nowhere else she'd rather be.

For a long moment, they both stayed silent, but then her secret began to wear heavily on her. She just needed him to know.

"I told you last year that I'd gotten you something you've always wanted. More than anything in the world," she began, breaking the silence and looking down at her hands. She had them clasped tightly together to keep from seeking the new-found comfort of feeling her nonexistent baby bump.

"Yeah," he said nodding. She could tell that he didn't understand where she was going, but she was grateful that he knew her well enough to humor her. To her, it was just another sign that everything was going to be okay.

She pushed down a wave of irrational fear.

"Well, I was wrong. And I should've known I was wrong. This thing," she said, picking up the box and holding it to her, "is what you've wanted most in the world. At least, I… I _hope_ it is. Because I didn't realize until I had it that it's what I wanted most in the world, too."

The confession took surprisingly little effort on her part. She gazed back into his searching blue eyes, content to let herself drown in them. She pulled herself together, though, and pushed on.

_He still doesn't know. _

"I—I need you to open it," she said, pushing the box into his hands. "_Now_."

He nodded and pulled her in for another kiss. It chased the fears away again, leaving her excited for his reaction. Then he pulled away and stood up. Fear sliced back through her, sharp as a knife.

"Where are you going?" she asked, standing up with him. He just smiled at her and laid a hand on her arm reassuringly.

"I'm just going to get the knife," he said, walking back to his bedroom. She breathed a sigh of relief and sat down again. Left alone with her thoughts, the fear and doubt started to creep in again.

It vanished completely, however, when she saw the knife in his hands.

"It kept you safe," she said, relieved and amazed and again in awe of this wonderful man who she knew would be a wonderful father.

"No," he corrected her with a smile. "I kept it safe."

"Touché," she said, smiling back at him. For a long moment he just stared at her. She stared back, trying to be patient. Eventually, though, her excitement over his reaction became too much for her limited patience to bear. "Oh, c'mon, Deeks! Open it!"

He chuckled and slid the knife along the seams, effectively removing the tape. As he did so, she held her breath. This time, instead of fear, she just felt anxious. She was anxious to see his reaction, to get past the fear and self-doubt she knew he would face—that she herself had faced—to get to the joy she was now feeling. He pulled the flaps open and peered inside.

He looked up at her incredulously.

"Packing peanuts?" he asked with a smirk. "No offense, Princess, but—"

"Just… just look," she said, not even cracking a smile. She appreciated his attempt at humor, but she really needed him to look into the package—to _understand _and _know_.

She suddenly felt like crying, but she couldn't understand why. She'd made peace with the fear—he'd made it clear that he wanted her, more than anything in the world—so she had nothing rational to be upset about. It didn't matter, though. It wasn't rational, but she still felt it.

_Stupid hormones,_ she thought to herself as she pushed back the tears.

"Hey," he said, setting the box aside to pull her close. She gave in and let herself be held. "Hey, it's okay. No matter what, I've got you, and you've got me. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

_How does he do that? _she wondered. She couldn't help a small smile from finding it's way onto her face. _He always knows exactly what to say to me. Just like my dad did..._

"Okay," she said in a small voice, nodding to emphasize her point.

"Okay," he repeated, picking up the box again. He reached his hand into the sea of packing peanuts and she held her breath, waiting for realization to dawn on him.

She took in his confusion when his hand found the stick in the box. Then she saw the surprise in his eyes when he pulled it out and recognized it. She saw the shock when he flipped it over and saw the plus sign.

And she let it all play out, because she'd gone thought all those same emotions herself. But then she saw the self-doubt and fear reach his eyes, and she knew he was thinking about his father—about becoming like him—she couldn't stand for him to think that. Not even for a second.

She reached her hand out to his shoulder and he lifted his gaze to hers. She stared back at him, silently communicating all the things that needed to be said without ruining the moment with words.

_You will be an amazing father. I love you, and this baby will love you. You are not him. You are better and kinder and stronger and brighter. You are good. _

And finally, she saw the joy reach his eyes and a smile spread across his face. It was everything she'd been hoping for—even sooner than she had expected, but then he'd always been quicker than she was—and she let herself cautiously return his smile. He carefully placed the test back in the box and set it on the table, never breaking their gaze until he pulled her into his arms.

"You got it right, Kens," he whispered, stroking her hair back reverently. She shivered as she felt his breath on her neck. "You got it more than right."

His words erased any doubts and fears and tension she had left. She just breathed in his salty, fresh, ocean-like scent and let the tears escape silently—tears of relief, joy, excitement. In that moment, held tightly to his chest, she listened to his heart beating steadily. His hands stroked her hair, and he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. She met his gaze, unable to hide her smile or her tears from him. She smiled when she saw the moisture shining in his eyes as well.

His hand reached out and pushed her shirt up, his fingers dancing across her stomach and sending tingles all the way up her spine. His eyes met hers, and they were filled with wonder. She placed her hand over his, intertwined their fingers, and lowered herself down onto the couch.

Again, no words were needed. He lowered his lips to hers, their hands still entwined together on her stomach, and they said all they needed to say in their own form of communication.

* * *

The first thing she was aware of when she started to wake up was that she was happy. She felt safe in a way that she hadn't for almost three months. The second thing she became aware of, however, was an unpleasant ringing noise. A very loud, very unpleasant ringing noise.

Her pillow shifted under her, wrapping his free arm around her to keep her from falling off. She looked up at him questioningly.

"Deeks," he answered, putting the phone on speaker so she could hear as well.

"Were you seriously still sleeping?" Callen's voice came through the phone. "I know it's your birthday, man, but unless you want this to be your last, I suggest you get in here as close to nine as you can. Or at least before Hetty notices."

Kensi moaned at the disturbance that Callen's voice created in her head, and buried her face deeper into Deeks's shoulder.

"What was that?" Callen asked, sounding suspicious. Deeks just chuckled.

"Nothing, man," he said, tightening his grip around Kensi's waist. His fingers unconsciously drawing patterns on her stomach. "I'll be in as soon as I can."

"Alright," G said, slowly.

"Don't forget about drinks tonight, Deeks," Sam called in the background.

Deeks groaned.

"Look, I—"

"Mr. Deeks was planning on coming in a little later than usual this morning," Hetty's voice stated clearly in the background. "Now, Mr. Callen, I believe you have some work to attend to…"

"Right, uh, yeah… We're working paperwork and cold cases unless we get a new case. I was just surprised when I got here and you weren't here already. I guess we'll see you when you get here, Deeks…" Callen said.

"And I do mean a _little_ late, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said sternly.

"Right. See you then," Deeks said, ending the call. His eyes immediately connected with hers.

"Hi," she said, smiling at him shyly. He smiled back at her, but his eyes dropped down to their intertwined hands, both resting atop her stomach.

"So… last night was real?" he asked, looking back up at her. Her breath caught in her throat at the open, almost vulnerable look in his clear blue eyes.

"Yeah, Deeks," she said softly. "It's real."

She gave him a minute to let it all sink in again. She couldn't help but remember the morning after she'd found out. She'd lain in bed for quite awhile, just wrapping her mind around the reality of it in the light of day, before she'd been able to call Hetty and do anything productive.

"So," she said after a very long, peaceful moment, when it looked like he'd processed as much as he could. "You've been beating _Callen_ into work?"

Deeks smirked absentmindedly, still drawing random patterns across her stomach.

"Only on the nights he actually goes home," he said. She let out a full laugh, so grateful to just hear his voice. He tore his eyes away from her abdomen at the sound.

"I missed you," she said, answering the unspoken question in his eyes. The look in his eyes was the same as when they'd stood behind that ambulance and she'd said _'Our thing.'_

He smiled back at her. "I missed you too."

He leaned in and captured her lips. She clung onto him, pouring her heart and soul into the kiss. After several minutes, she reluctantly pulled back. He made a noise of protest, and she chucked.

"You really do have to get to work, birthday boy," she said in a mischievous tone. "You heard Hetty. She said you could be a _little_ late. I don't think we're really in any position to be pushing the envelope."

* * *

"So, I know I'm not allowed to ask…" Deeks began as he was driving them into work twenty minutes later. He clutched the steering wheel tightly, and his eyes darted from her to the road. Kensi just looked at him in confusion, motioning him to continue. "Well, if your mission is still incomplete…" he continued nervously. "I mean—"

"It's not my mission anymore, Deeks," Kensi said, understanding. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Right," he said, nodding to himself. "Right. I mean, you couldn't. Even if they needed you to. Because… because you can't have a-a pregnant woman in a war zone, right?"

He looked over at her and grinned, obviously enjoying saying it aloud. She knew she should scold him—maybe slug his shoulder—but she couldn't bring herself to. His childlike amusement was exactly like what she pictured their son to look like.

"He's going to look just like you…" she murmured as they pulled into the parking lot of OSP. He turned to her in confusion.

"What?"

"Our son," she said, feeling the beginnings of a blush at the back of her neck. "He's going to look just like you."

He reached out and took her hands in his. The beaming smile on his face was completely genuine—there wasn't even a hint of teasing or sarcasm.

"We're having a boy?" he asked her, his tone filled with wonder and a little bit of disappointment. She wondered slightly at that.

_Does he want a girl?_

"Well, uh, I don't really… know for sure…" she said, blushing. "I mean, I haven't had an ultrasound or anything yet…" He nodded, his eyes filling with relief, and she understood his disappointment from her previous comment. He just didn't want to miss a thing.

"I didn't even realize I was pregnant until two days ago," she continued, wanting him to know everything she'd gone through. "When Sabatino was asking me out—"

"Wait a second," Deeks cut in. She paused and looked up at him. "_Sabatino_ was there? He was asking you out?"

She smiled at his completely adorable—if unnecessary—jealousy and nodded.

"I was feeling slightly nauseous, so I was a little crabbier than was perhaps necessary when I told him I wasn't interested." Deeks laughed, and she smiled at the sound. "I think I caught him off guard—he doesn't strike me as the type to take rejection well—and he made some off-hand comment about it being 'that time of the month'… and I guess it just… _clicked_. The next morning, after I'd processed everything, I called Hetty and arranged to come home."

He nodded, but the corners of his mouth tightened slightly. She wouldn't have noticed it if she hadn't been studying him intently. She waited patiently for him to speak what was obviously on his mind.

"Why… why didn't you call me?" he asked eventually.

_Ah,_ she thought. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

"I was going to," she said, meeting his searching blue gaze. "I was freaking out in my bunk in the middle of the desert, and selfishly all I wanted was to talk to you. I even had my finger hovering over the button. It was my first reaction. But," she continued, "I also needed to process everything. I needed to understand." She smiled. "And I kinda wanted to witness your reaction in person, too."

He smiled again and nodded, obviously content with her answer.

"We have a lot to talk about," she said after another long pause. He nodded and smiled again.

"Looks like you got more than you bargained for when you promised to talk about our thing," he said. She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her at his teasing tone.

"And you got more than you bargained for when you promised you'd be patient with me," she teased him back. He chuckled and looked down, a slight blush adorning his cheeks.

"I'd do anything for you, Fern."

She reached across the console, tilted his face up to look at her, then brought their lips together softly. He responded, deepening the kiss until her entire body felt like it was made of jelly. She reluctantly pulled away and rested her forehead against his.

"So… how are we going to do this?" she asked. She didn't need to say more because he understood.

"Well, we're going out for drinks tonight," he said, smirking. She nodded, liking his plan. "Besides," he continued, "it's my birthday. They can't kill me on my birthday, right?"

"Sure Deeks," she said, obviously humoring him. He looked at her, slightly wide-eyed, and she couldn't help but reassure him. "Don't worry, partner. They'd have to get through me first."

* * *

They reluctantly separated when they reached the doors to the mission. He had to get started on paperwork, and she needed to meet with Hetty and Assistant Director Granger for debriefing before she could see anyone else.

"I don't wanna let you go," he mumbled into her hair. She wasn't sure if he meant for her to hear him or not.

"And I don't want to go," she said, pulling back to look into his eyes. "But the sooner I get this done, the sooner I'm free of it."

He nodded and, with one last lingering kiss, turned and strode into the bull pen. She stayed in the shadows for a moment, listening to the guys' greetings.

"Well hello Sleeping Beauty," Sam greeted Deeks cheerily. Deeks snorted.

"Hey, it was a late night!" he protested halfheartedly, but she could still hear the grin in his tone. She smiled and turned away to go to her debriefing only to find Hetty standing directly behind her.

"Hello, Ms. Blye," Hetty greeted her. She smiled down at Hetty. "I take it everything went… well?"

She blushed.

"Yes, Hetty," she said with a smile. "It went better than I even imagined it could."

* * *

The debriefing—which was surprisingly brief—finally finished, and Kensi made her way to the bull pen, where Hetty had told her the guys were all working on paperwork. She was about to announce her presence when she over heard their conversation.

"…doing last night?" Sam asked, sounding slightly concerned. "I mean, you haven't been late in a long while. You weren't pulling traffic duty again, were you? I don't care if it was an undercover operation," Sam continued as Deeks started to protest. "Hetty will literally kill you if you play that card again."

She chuckled at the thought of Deeks pulling traffic duty, and she felt relieved when she realized that, like herself, he'd thrown himself into work to deal with their separation.

When Deeks looked up and saw her standing just outside the bull pen, he smiled.

"Nah, Sam," he said, grinning at the senior agent. "I wasn't working last night. I was just busy."

"Yeah," Sam said, his head tiled in concerned confusion. "That's what I'm worried ab—"

"_KENSI_!" Nell's voice rang out through the mission. Kensi looked up to see that Nell had spotted her from the stairs. The pixie-like red head bounded down the stairs and pulled Kensi into a hug before Kensi had time to react. "You're back!"

Kensi nodded, and she saw Sam and Callen—both with shocked looks on their faces—make their way towards her. Deeks followed behind, giving her space to greet her friends.

"Yeah," she said, out of breath. "I'm back, but Nell, I can't breathe!"

"Oh!" Nell exclaimed, releasing Kensi. "Oh, right."

"Welcome back, Kens," Sam said, enveloping her in a hug.

"Thanks Sam," Kensi smiled when Sam released her.

"Welcome back, Kensi," Callen said, giving her a slightly awkward side hug.

"Wait a second," Sam said, turning to look over at Deeks in confusion. He'd obviously noticed that Deeks was the only one who hadn't come over to welcome her home. "You already knew she was back?"

Deeks just smiled. "Guilty."

"So it was Kensi who was moaning into the phone this morning!" Callen said, his eyes widening in understanding. Everyone's eyes flashed to him, and Kensi's face turned red. Callen seemed to realize what he'd said. "No, I mean—"

"Yeah, you're probably not going to be able to talk your way out of that one, wise team leader," Deeks smirked at Callen. Kensi just continued to glare at him.

"I was tired!" she exclaimed. "I didn't get in until around three. You woke me up. I have every right to be grumpy."

"Yes you do," Deeks agreed, meeting her eyes across the bull pen. This time there was no mistaking her blush. She heard and understood the deeper meaning behind his words.

Everyone looked like they had more they wanted to say, but Kensi cut them off.

"I heard we're all going out for drinks tonight," she said, smiling at her teammates. "Why don't we finish this conversation then?" They still looked reluctant to let the conversation drop, so she added, "Shouldn't we get back to work before Hetty comes back?"

"Yeah," Callen agreed, nodding his head. "We should all get some work done."

They all headed back to their desks, and Kensi began to reorganize—or as Deeks would probably tease, re-_dis_organize it. After a few minutes of content, comfortable silence between the team members, Sam finally spoke up.

"Well, at least this explains the creepy Hetty-smile," he said.

Deeks looked up and met her gaze across the bull pen, and she knew they were both thinking the same thing.

_You have no idea._

* * *

**_Thanks for reading! Your reviews make the inspiration come sooner! :)_**


	4. Together

_**AN: Wow! You guys are amazing! Thank you so much for the reviews! I really wasn't expecting to be updating before Saturday, but your response was so great, this chapter just happened. **_

_**Here's a shout out to Bamie02 who has been editing these chapters! Sorry I forgot this in the last chapter, which she also helped with! She's kinda the bomb! Also, Moresassythanclassy gave me a few good ideas that will hopefully be coming in later chapters! **_

_**That said, reviews really do speed up the update process, guys! Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this new chapter :)**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

Having her near him was great. Being surrounded by her scent—sunshine and gunpowder—was absolutely intoxicating. Having her in his arms again was heaven. But knowing that their future was growing inside her at that very instant… well that was _indescribable_. Even for a man of many words such as him. He smiled as he got out of the car, glad that they'd been able to effectively communicate.

_In both ways,_ he thought with a smirk as he remembered the heat and passion of their kisses.

When they reached the doors to the mission, he pulled her close to him, into a security camera blind spot—he wasn't _stupid_, after all.

"I don't wanna let you go," he mumbled into her hair, taking comfort in the way she clung to him. As if she didn't want to be separated again, either.

"And I don't want to go," she said, pulling back to look into his eyes, confirming his hopes. He was amazed at the depth of emotion he saw dancing around in her mismatched brown eyes—at this new, open Kensi. "But the sooner I get this done, the sooner I'm free of it."

He nodded and, with one last lingering kiss, turned away and strode into the bull pen. The sooner he faced the guys, the better, he figured.

"Well hello Sleeping Beauty," Sam greeted Deeks with cheery sarcasm. Deeks just snorted.

"Hey, it was a late night!" he protested halfheartedly, but even with all his undercover prowess, he still couldn't remove the grin from his face.

Sam gave him a confused look.

"Okay, now _you're_ doing the creepy Hetty-smile," he said, raising his eyebrows suspiciously. "What's going on?"

Deeks just laughed and sat down at his desk, too happy to pretend to be otherwise.

"Nothing's going on, Sam," he said, grinning at the senior agent.

"See! That, right there," Sam said, leaning forward toward the detective. "_That's_ what I'm talking about. What's going on?"

"Does it have something to do with the moaning I heard on the phone this morning?" Callen asked, finally looking up from his paperwork. Sam's eyes widened in surprise. He turned to glare at Deeks.

"Wow, you guys are some friends, you know that?" Deeks said, fighting back a furious blush at Callen's words. "And on my birthday, too…" he muttered under his breath.

_She's pregnant,_ he reminded himself. _It's not like we can keep that a secret forever… can we? _It was slightly tempting. _No, no…. They're gonna know soon enough. _

His grin just widened at his own train of thought.

_Kensi's pregnant. Kensi. Like… really pregnant. With my baby. I'm gonna be a dad. Oh my god, I'm gonna be a dad. We're having a baby. Half me, half Kensi. A baby… A son, if I listen to Kensi, which I should, you know, since she can be scary, and— _

"Deeks!" his team leader's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Hmm…? What?" he asked, still grinning. The two older agents just looked at him like he had a few screws loose.

_Eh, maybe I do,_ he thought to himself. After all, he should be much more freaked out about the whole situation than he actually was.

Callen just shook his head as if to say _"I'll never understand you."_ Sam gave him a confused look. Deeks just grinned at them both and pulled out an old file.

"Happy birthday, Deeks," Sam said softly before turning back to the file on his desk. Deeks smiled and did the same.

_I wonder how long this silence will last…_

* * *

As it turned out, Sam and Callen managed to make it over an hour before they broke the silence with more questions.

"Does this have something to do with the person who was moaning into the phone this morning?" Callen asked, finally breaking his uninterested facade. Sam's eyes widened again, and he shot an accusing look at Deeks.

"You brought a girl home last night?" he asked accusingly. For a moment, annoyance seeped in around Deeks's cloud of joy.

"No I did _not_ bring a girl home last night," he said firmly. _She came home to me. _He grinned again at the thought, his annoyance vanishing as quickly as it had appeared.

"No… no, of course you didn't," Sam said, immediately backtracking. "So what _were_ you doing last night?" Sam finally broke down, asking Deeks straight out. He sounded only slightly concerned. "I mean, you haven't been late in a long while. You weren't pulling traffic duty again, were you?" Deeks started to protest, but Sam just continued, "I don't care if it was an undercover operation, Hetty will literally kill you if you play that card again."

He was about to retort when he heard a soft chuckle, and he looked up to find Kensi standing just outside the bull pen. He couldn't help but grin at her, and she grinned back. She'd obviously been listening, and she was pleased with what she'd heard.

"Nah, Sam," he said, turning to face the senior agent, still grinning. If Kensi was happy, he was happy. _That's just how we roll._ "I wasn't working last night. I was just busy."

"Yeah," Sam said, his head tiled in concerned confusion. "That's what I'm worried ab—"

"_KENSI_!" Nell's voice rang out through the mission, causing everyone to spin around to face the two women. The pixie-like red head bounded down the stairs and pulled Kensi into a hug before Kensi had time to react. "You're back!"

Deeks smiled as his Kensi was engulfed in a tight hug, and he turned back to see Sam and Callen, both with identical looks of shock and pleasant surprise on their faces. Both senior agents walked toward Kensi slowly. Deeks followed, hanging back slightly to give her space with their friends/teammates.

"Yeah," Kensi said, sounding out of breath. "I'm back, but Nell, I can't breathe!"

"Oh!" Nell exclaimed, releasing Kensi. "Oh, right."

Deeks just chuckled quietly, enjoying the scene that was unfolding before him. Seeing Kensi back with her family… it was better than he could've imagined it.

"Welcome back, Kens," Sam said, enveloping her in a brotherly hug.

"Thanks Sam," Kensi smiled when Sam released her.

"Welcome back, Kensi," Callen said, giving her a slightly awkward side hug.

"Wait a second," Sam said, turning to look over at Deeks in confusion. He'd obviously noticed that Deeks was the only one who hadn't come over to welcome her home. "You already knew she was back?"

Deeks just smiled. He'd seen it coming a mile away.

"Guilty," he answered with a nonchalant shrug.

"So it was Kensi who was moaning into the phone this morning!" Callen said, his eyes widening in understanding. Everyone's eyes flashed to him, and Kensi's face turned red. Callen seemed to realize what he'd said. "No, I mean—"

"Yeah, you're probably not going to be able to talk your way out of that one, wise team leader," Deeks smirked at Callen. He looked over at his—partner? girlfriend? baby mama?—and smiled.

_Yeah, we definitely have a lot to talk about._

"I was tired!" she exclaimed defensively, not even bothering to deny that she'd been with him. He smiled at that. "I didn't get in until around three. You woke me up. I have every right to be grumpy."

"Yes you do," Deeks agreed, meeting her eyes across the bull pen. This time there was no mistaking her blush. He could tell she understood the deeper meaning behind his words.

Everyone looked like they had more they wanted to say, but Kensi cut them off.

"I heard we're all going out for drinks tonight," she said, smiling at her teammates. "Why don't we finish this conversation then?" They still looked reluctant to let the conversation drop, so she added, "Shouldn't we get back to work before Hetty comes back?"

"Yeah," Callen agreed, nodding his head. "We should all get some work done."

They all headed back to their desks, and Kensi began to re_dis_organize her desk, spreading files out in a glorious display of clutter. It was completely Kensi, and it wasn't until that moment that he realized how much the neat desk had haunted him. After a few minutes of content, comfortable silence between the team members, Sam finally spoke up.

"Well, at least this explains the creepy Hetty-smile," he said.

Deeks looked up, immediately meeting Kensi's gaze across the bull pen, and he knew they were both thinking the same thing.

_You have no idea. _

* * *

Around five o'clock that evening, Callen slammed his laptop shut.

"I suppose we should call it a day," he said, standing and moving to the center of the bull pen. "We don't know what'll come up for tomorrow. I don't know about you guys, but I could definitely use a drink after this boring day."

Deeks smirked, nodding his head in agreement. Last year, he would've agreed with Callen—paperwork used to be the worst kind of torture he knew. Now, however, he had learned to appreciate slowing down. He didn't want it every day, by any means, but a slow day spent exchanging looks across the bull pen with his partner… it wasn't all that bad.

"I'm down," Sam said, standing. "Usual place? Drinks are on me."

Kensi's eyes suddenly tightened in anxiety at Sam's words. Deeks sent her a discrete smile to settle her nerves.

_It's gonna be okay,_ he said with his eyes. _They'll be happy for us. _He did his best to keep the _maybe_ out of the silent pep talk. She smiled and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Yeah," Kensi said, gathering her things. "We'll meet you there."

She climbed into the passenger's seat of her SRX, leaving the door open as she settled her things into the back seat.

"So this is just normal now?" Sam asked, turning to Deeks as the rest of their teammates walked to their cars. Deeks just gave him a confused look. "You two _carpooling_?"

Deeks just smirked, enjoying the relative calm before the storm. He caught Kensi's slightly worried look.

"Yep."

Sam's face fell slightly at his flippant tone, but Kensi's grin said it all. She tossed her keys to Deeks through the open door, then shut it in the faces of the two, slightly stunned men.

"You're driving?" Sam asked, puzzled. Deeks just grinned, an expression that he'd become all too familiar with in the last twelve hours.

"I'm driving," he said. With a smirk, he headed around and got into the driver's side. Sam just shook his head and jumped into the driver's side of his Challenger. He said something to Callen, then peeled out of the parking lot, following Eric and Nell to the bar. Deeks turned on the car, but instead of driving off, he turned to Kensi.

"So… _is_ this going to be normal?" she asked before he could say anything. Her tone was hesitant, but her eyes were still the new, open Kensi he'd really come to appreciate. He still couldn't believe how lucky he'd gotten.

"I sure hope so," he said, looking into her eyes. He could see that she understood what he was implying, but also that she needed him to say it.

_No more dancing around it_, he told himself.

"Hey, Kens?" he began, gathering his nerve.

"Yeah," she said softly, still not breaking eye contact. He resisted the urge to look away and make a joke.

_Now is so not the time for humor. C'mon, Marty. Communicate._ He smirked internally at himself. _With words. _

"I, uh… we're, um…" _Okay, not the greatest start. _He took a deep breath. "So, we're, uh, telling the team, right?"

She looked disappointed, and he cursed himself.

"Well, I mean, only if you want to," she said, looking down at her hands, which were playing across her stomach. "I mean, we still have some… things to figure out, and so we can wait until—"

"That night," he said, cutting her off before he lost the nerve. She looked at him confused. "That night when you showed up at my door… you know, after the… with the…" Understanding flashed in her eyes. "I said that someday you'd make someone the perfect _personal assistant_. And I…"

_This is it,_ he told himself. He took one last deep breath, steeling his nerves, then looked directly into her eyes.

"I didn't mean that," he said with sincerity. "I was going to say that you'd make someone the perfect wife someday. The perfect life partner. And not just someone." He paused here, trying desperately to convey the sincerity of his statement. "Me."

"Deeks…" she said, sounding slightly terrified.

"I'm not… I know it's too soon," he reassured her. Surprisingly, her expression didn't look relieved. "And I'm not just saying this because of the baby. I would've said it that night, but apparently my communication skills were still somewhat… lacking." He shook his head and let out a self-depreciating laugh. "I don't know, Kens. The point is, I love you. I loved you then, and I love you now. And I already love our son."

She froze, and Deeks suddenly wondered if he'd gone too far—pushed too hard, too quickly. Then she smiled, and his worries started to reside. She reached across the console for his hand, intertwining their fingers and placing them together under her shirt. Never breaking eye contact with her, he began to move his thumb back and forth over the place where their baby grew.

After a few long, silent moments, she spoke.

"This baby," she said, holding his gaze, "is the living proof of our love. Of how much I love you." A grin spread across his face, but she wasn't finished. "But even without this baby, you'd still be my everything."

_"Your smile, your laugh… everything." _The words he'd spoken to her that night—after surviving hell—would be forever in both of their memories.

"And you're mine," he said. No more words were necessary as their lips finally met again. This time felt different to Deeks—like the last barrier between them had finally been removed.

He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. They stayed like that for another moment before Deeks finally pulled back.

"I'd love to stay like this all night," he said softly, "but I really don't think they'll be all in favor of us being together if we make them wait much longer." He grinned as something else occurred to him. "Not to mention all the _hilarious_ jokes they'd be sure to make at our expense."

"Not ours, Deeks," Kensi said, leaning back over to her seat and pulling the seat belt across her lap. "Just you."

"Oh, I don't know, Princess," Deeks said with a sly wink. "Callen got plenty of material out of that _moan_ episode this morning."

There was no place for him to go to dodge the light punch he took to the shoulder.

* * *

"About time you two showed up," Callen said as Kensi and Deeks walked over to the table where Callen, Sam, Eric, and Nell were already nursing their first drinks.

"Well, Mr. Driving-Miss-Daisy over here—"

"Hold up there, Sunshine," Deeks cut in with a smirk. "I just obey the laws that _we_ enforce. Besides, _you_ let me drive."

Nell, Sam, and Callen shook their heads at her incredulously.

"Jet lag," Kensi defended her decision. It was adorably weak, in Deeks's opinion, but he didn't mind at all.

"Speaking of…" Sam said. "How are you back? I thought Hetty said your mission was still incomplete."

"Oh, well, uh…" Kensi shot a frantic look at Deeks, but he just shrugged. "It… uh, it is."

_Might as well get it out of the way._

She just narrowed her eyes at him. Nell, however, seemed to pick up on Kensi's discomfort.

"C'mon, Sam," Nell said lightly. "The girl just got back." Kensi shot her a relieved look. "Let's get this girl a beer before we start playing 20 questions."

Kensi's gratitude suddenly turned to fear. Nell got up to go to the bar. Deeks placed a hand on the small of Kensi's back discreetly, and her fearful look vanished. She nodded up at him.

"No thanks, Nell," Kensi said with a soft smile, not looking away from Deeks. "No alcohol for me."

He smiled at her and nodded encouragingly.

"Ah, c'mon, Kens," Sam said with a real smile. "You just got back. You deserve to let loose a little. Eric can be the designated driver tonight."

"Hey!" Eric protested, but no one payed him any mind.

"No," Kensi said, shaking her head and shooting Sam a very meaningful look. "I won't be drinking _alcohol_."

Sam's brow furrowed in confusion. Deeks held his breath and counted in his head. He was at around fifteen when Sam's confusion morphed into realization and finally settled on a mixture of shock and disbelief.

"_No_…" Sam said, shaking his head at Kensi. She smiled.

"_Yep_," Deeks said. Sam's gaze shifted to Deeks, and he could see the internal war raging inside the senior agent. On one hand, he was upset that Deeks had gotten his surrogate-little-sister pregnant. On the other hand, as a surrogate-big-brother to Deeks, he was happy for him.

"Look man," Deeks said, attempting to lighten the mood. "All I want for my birthday is my life. Think we can work with that?"

Sam stayed still for another thirty seconds before he allowed a grin to cross his face.

"Yeah, I can work with that," Sam said. Deeks finally let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Someone wanna fill me in here?" Callen's voice interrupted the moment.

Kensi smiled softly. Looking across at Deeks, she placed her hand across her stomach.

"No way…" Nell joined the realization, catching on first. Kensi just nodded. Nell beamed at her.

"Wha…?" Callen trailed off as his eyes landed on Kensi's hand. He looked up at her face. "No."

Kensi just smirked. "Yes."

"But—but she just got home _last night_!" he exclaimed. Sam, Nell, Kensi, and Deeks turned to him incredulously.

"Really?" Deeks asked with a smirk. "Seriously man? Do we need to have that talk? Because—ow!"

"Not the time, Deeks," Kensi whispered in his ear.

"Okay, fine!" he exclaimed, rubbing his shoulder more dramatically that necessary. Surprisingly, since she'd been home, her punches hadn't packed any force. "Geez! You didn't have to _hit_ me."

Something flashed momentarily in her eyes, but it was gone before he had a chance to really notice it was there. He made a mental note to ask her about that later, and looked back at the rest of the team.

Sam, who was now over whatever internal struggle he'd had, was beaming at them. Nell was grinning, too. Callen still seemed to be in a state of shock. Eric, however, was completely clueless.

"Umm… does somebody want to tell me what's going on?" he asked. It was just what they needed to break the tension in the group.

Deeks looked down and met Kensi's eyes.

_Do you want to say it, or should I? _he asked her. She just smiled.

"I'm pregnant," she said, not looking away from Deeks. He smiled down at her.

"We're having a baby," he added.

* * *

_**Thanks for reading! Leave a review on your way out :)**_


	5. Morning Sickness

_**AN: Wow! Thanks for all the responses guys! You never cease to amaze me! I'm really sorry that this took longer than usual, but the chapter is also much longer than usual, so I hope that makes up for it! This was a tougher one to write—but don't ask me why. I have NO IDEA! **_

_**Thank you to Bamie02 for reviewing this for me :) As always, you rock! I wouldn't have made it through my writer's block without her… I'm sure you've all seen it, but if you haven't, check out her story Smile Sunshine! One of the best!**_

_**This chapter is extra long, because I wanted to do the car scene AND the bar scene in Kensi's POV before moving on… If you don't like that, please feel free to skip over it. I promise my feelings won't be hurt. That's what the first two parts are. After that, it's all new, so enjoy and leave me a review :)**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

Kensi climbed into the passenger's seat of her SRX, leaving the door open as she settled her things into the back seat. The day had left her feeling exhausted.

_I didn't even do anything today,_ she complained to herself, doing her best to stifle a yawn. Even though she was mostly hidden from his sight, she knew Deeks would start to worry if she showed signs of fatigue.

_What am I going to do when—_

"So this is just normal now?" Sam voice cut into her thoughts. "You two _carpooling_?"

Kensi felt herself stiffen, and she couldn't help but wonder at Sam's words.

_Is this normal? Will this _be_ normal? Are we even together? He said he'd be patient, or wait, or… or, it was implied… right? Maybe? And, I mean, we're having a baby, but that doesn't necessarily mean—_

"Yep." Deeks's slightly flippant tone was the most reassuring sound Kensi had ever heard. She couldn't stop another grin from spreading across her face. She didn't have the words to tell him what that simple answer meant to her, so she just tossed him the keys. His eyes widened in surprise, and her smile turned into a smirk worthy of the man who'd taught her humor. She shut the door on her—partner? boyfriend? baby daddy?—she really wasn't sure.

_We really do have a lot to talk about… _

Deeks recovered rather quickly, answered something Sam said, then went around to the driver's side. Kensi watched him walk around the car, admiring every part of him. When he got in the car, Deeks started it, but instead of driving off, he turned to Kensi. His blue eyes were sparkling with good humor but also a little bit of doubt.

_Did he… not mean it? Does he think I didn't want him to mean it? _She wasn't getting anywhere by arguing in circles with herself, so she decided on a new course of action.

"So… _is_ this going to be normal?" she asked him directly before he could say anything. She barely managed to get the words past the lump in her throat, but she forced them past her lips. She kept looking into his intoxicating, ocean-like eyes, never letting the contact waver for a second.

_I could just drown in them…_ she thought to herself, allowing herself a small, wistful smile.

"I sure hope so," he said, looking back at her. His words were both reassuring and confusing.

_What does that mean, exactly? _she wondered. _What are we? _

"Hey, Kens?" he said, before she could voice her questions aloud.

"Yeah," she said softly, still not breaking eye contact. His mouth tightened like it did when he was trying to stay serious.

_This is it…_ she thought, holding her breath and attempting to give him silent encouragement with her eyes. Usually, silent communication was their specialty, but this time, it didn't seem to be working. His eyes were dark and serious… the way she'd only seen them a few times before. None of them had ended well, with the exception of one night. The night their child had been conceived.

"I, uh… we're, um…" She resisted the urge to smile at his stuttering.

_It must be serious if it's reduced the great Marty Deeks to stuttering,_ she thought with a small smile. _This is it… _

"So, we're, uh, telling the team, right?" he finally managed to ask. Her heart sank to her feet.

_Oh. Right. Of course he's talking about telling the team, Kensi. What did you think? That he was going to clear up… whatever it is that you are? You're both terrible at communication, remember? Why would that change now?_

_Shut up,_ she told herself. Out loud, she said, "Well, I mean, only if you want to." She looked down at her hands, which were playing across her stomach. The physical contact with her son was the only comfort she could draw from at the moment. "I mean, we still have some… things to figure out, and so we can wait until—"

"That night," he said, cutting her off suddenly. She stopped talking and looked over at him confused. "That night when you showed up at my door… you know, after the… with the…"

_Oh._

"I said that someday you'd make someone the perfect _personal assistant_," he continued. "And I…"

He took a deep breath, and she felt her hope begin to rise again. She fought it back.

"I didn't mean that," he said with sincerity. "I was going to say that you'd make someone the perfect wife someday. The perfect life partner. And not just someone." He paused here, his eyes shining in sincerity. "Me."

_How does he do that? _a small part of her brain wondered. He'd managed to simultaneously reassure her about where they stood, and also freak her out with the depth of his meaning. It was everything she'd ever wanted to hear, and yet she still couldn't stop the icy fear from flowing through her veins.

"Deeks…" she said, hating the way her voice shook slightly, betraying her fear.

"I'm not… I know it's too soon," he reassured her.

Surprisingly, it was disappointment that flooded her instead of relief. She tucked that away to consider later and listened to her partner continue.

"And I'm not just saying this because of the baby," he continued. "I would've said it that night, but apparently my communication skills were still somewhat… lacking." He shook his head and let out that self-depreciating laugh that she hated. "I don't know, Kens. The point is, I love you. I loved you then, and I love you now. And I already love our son."

She froze, waiting for the fear. But it didn't come.

_I love you too. _

The thought came to her naturally. It was like her life—every second with him, every teasing touch and longing gaze—flashed before her eyes. And surprisingly, she had absolutely no more doubts. Everything in her life suddenly made sense. The baby no longer seemed rushed, the future no longer seemed so scary. She noticed her partner's fearful expression, and she couldn't stop the grin that broke out on her face.

She reached across the console for his hand, intertwining their fingers and placing them together under her shirt. He began to move his thumb back and forth over the place where their baby grew. The feeling was absolutely indescribably, and it took her a long moment to gather her thoughts back together and speak.

"This baby," she said, holding his gaze, "is the living proof of our love. Of how much I love you." A grin spread across his face, but she wasn't finished. She needed to lay everything out between them. _No more doubts. _"But even without this baby, you'd still be my everything."

_"Your smile, your laugh… everything." _The words he'd spoken to her that night—after surviving hell—would be forever etched in both of their memories.

"And you're mine," he said. No more words were necessary as their lips finally met again. This time felt different to Kensi—like she had everything she'd never known she'd been searching for in her life. All because of this wonderful man who was holding her as close as their situation would allow.

He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. They stayed like that for another moment before Deeks finally pulled back. She made a soft sound of protest in her throat, and he smiled.

"I'd love to stay like this all night," he assured her, "but I really don't think they'll be all in favor of us being together if we make them wait much longer."

_Together. _She smiled at that.

His grin suddenly widened as if he found something amusing. "Not to mention all the _hilarious_ jokes they'd be sure to make at our expense."

"Not ours, Deeks," Kensi said, leaning back over to her seat and pulling the seat belt across her lap. She smirked at her everything. It was a strange label, sure, but it was them. "Just you."

"Oh, I don't know, Princess," Deeks said with a sly wink. "Callen got plenty of material out of that _moan_ episode this morning."

And because, as his girlfriend, it was her duty to make sure he stayed in line, she punched him playfully in the shoulder. It was either that or blush again, and she sure as hell wasn't going with the latter.

_Some things should never change. _

* * *

"About time you two showed up," Callen said as Kensi and Deeks walked over to the table where Callen, Sam, Eric, and Nell were already nursing their first drinks. Kensi immediately resorted to sending a teasing jab at her boyfriend.

"Well, Mr. Driving-Miss-Daisy over here—"

"Hold up there, Sunshine," Deeks cut in with a smirk, easily following her lead. "I just obey the laws that _we_ enforce. Besides, _you_ let me drive."

Nell, Sam, and Callen shook their heads at her incredulously.

"Jet lag," Kensi defended her decision. She could tell, from their looks, that they all thought she was going nuts.

_Eh, maybe I am… _

"Speaking of…" Sam said. "How are you back? I thought Hetty said your mission was still incomplete."

"Oh, well, uh…" Kensi shot a frantic look at Deeks, but he just shrugged as if to say _'might as well get it out of the way'_. "It… uh, it is."

She narrowed her eyes at Deeks. Nell, however, seemed to pick up on Kensi's discomfort.

"C'mon, Sam," Nell said lightly. "The girl just got back." Kensi shot her a relieved look. "Let's get this girl a beer before we start playing 20 questions."

Kensi's gratitude suddenly turned to fear.

_Oh god, how do I—how do we… What do I say to— _

Nell got up to go to the bar. Deeks placed a hand on the small of Kensi's back discreetly. Again, just his touch was enough to chase away the fear.

_These are our friends,_ she reminded herself. _They'll be happy for us. And if they're not, fine. I have Deeks. We're good._

"No thanks, Nell," Kensi said with a soft smile. She looked up at Deeks and held his gaze, feeling her confidence solidify. "No alcohol for me."

He smiled at her and nodded encouragingly. It made her feel bolder.

"Ah, c'mon, Kens," Sam said with a real smile. "You just got back. You deserve to let loose a little. Eric can be the designated driver tonight."

"Hey!" Eric protested, but no one payed him any mind.

"No," Kensi said, shaking her head and shooting Sam a very meaningful look. "I won't be drinking _alcohol_."

Kensi watched the big man's reaction. She waited patiently as Sam's expression went from confusion to realization to pure shock.

"_No_…" Sam said, shaking his head at Kensi. She smiled.

"_Yep_," Deeks said. Sam's gaze shifted to Deeks, and she held her breath. If it came down to it, she'd step in. After all, she had to have her partner's back, and she couldn't let anything happen to her boyfriend—her son's _father_. She felt a shiver go through her at the thought.

"Look man," Deeks finally said, attempting to lighten the mood. "All I want for my birthday is my life. Think we can work with that?"

Sam stayed still for another thirty seconds before he allowed a grin to cross his face.

"Yeah, I can work with that," Sam said. Kensi felt relief flood her entire body. Having Sam behind them meant that it was all going to be okay. Callen may be the team leader, but the team would ultimately follow Sam's lead in matters like this.

"Someone wanna fill me in here?" Callen's voice interrupted the moment.

Kensi smiled softly. Looking across at Deeks, she placed her hand across her stomach. Her nerves and adrenaline immediately calmed as her hand connected with the place that held their child.

"No way…" Nell joined the realization, catching on first. Kensi just nodded at her best girl friend. Nell beamed at her.

_Sam and Nell are good… Callen? _She turned her attention to her team leader.

"Wha…?" Callen trailed off as his eyes landed on Kensi's hand. He looked up at her face. "No."

Kensi just shook her head and smirked. _Why is that everyone's first word? _"Yes."

"But—but she just got home _last night_!" he exclaimed. Sam, Nell, Kensi, and Deeks turned to him incredulously.

"Really?" Deeks asked with a smirk. "Seriously man? Do we need to have that talk?" Kensi glared at her partner, but he didn't seem to notice, so she slugged his shoulder. "Because—ow!"

"Not the time, Deeks," Kensi whispered in his ear. It didn't matter that she partly agreed with Deeks.

"Okay, fine!" he exclaimed, rubbing his shoulder more dramatically that necessary. She knew her punch hadn't packed that much force, but she was getting a funny feeling in her stomach just watching him. It was almost as if… "Geez! You didn't have to _hit_ me."

In the space of only a few seconds, she was suddenly back outside that hotel where she'd…

_Oh god… _She could still feel her fist connect with his fragile jaw, and even her hand over their baby didn't calm her. _I hit him. In the jaw! I— _

His gaze became concerned, so she quickly pushed the thoughts away. It wasn't the time. She needed to enjoy the moment. She could worry about everything else—including her shocking revelation—later.

Sam, who was now over whatever internal struggle he'd had, was beaming at them. Nell was grinning, too. Callen still seemed to be in a state of shock. Eric, however, was completely clueless.

"Umm… does somebody want to tell me what's going on?" he asked. It was just what they needed to break the tension in the group, and Kensi managed to temporarily push away the remaining guilt.

Deeks looked down and met Kensi's eyes with a silent question. She just smiled and allowed all her worries to float away as she stared back into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm pregnant," she said, not looking away from Deeks. He smiled down at her, and she felt a thrill go through her body. It was the first time she'd uttered the words out loud to someone in person, and she couldn't contain her smile.

"We're having a baby," he added. For that moment, the world seemed to shrink until it was just her and Deeks. The music, the bar, the team… none of it mattered when she could lose herself in his ocean-like eyes forever.

"You? You two? A-a baby?" Eric's stunned voice snapped her back to reality. Kensi reluctantly turned her attention back to the team. She could see they were all waiting for answers.

"Huh," Eric said after a long minute. "I have got to admit that I did not see that coming."

Once again, the whole team laughed.

"Yeah, well, neither did we," Deeks said.

"So this is good?" Callen asked seriously. Kensi bit back the retort that was on the tip of her tongue, knowing that Callen hadn't meant to come across as callous.

"Yeah, Callen," Kensi said, turning her focus to him briefly. "It's good."

* * *

Kensi managed to make it through another two hours of team bonding and celebration before she started to nod off on Deeks's shoulder.

"I think we're going to call it a night," Deeks said when her head hit his shoulder. She just hummed in agreement, too tired to worry about putting up a fight.

"Alright guys," Callen said. "We'll see you when we see you tomorrow, okay?"

The rest of the team just nodded. Kensi was grateful that none of them called her out on her uncharacteristic show of weakness.

"Thanks man," Deeks said. Kensi just nodded and followed Deeks out of the bar. When they reached the car, Deeks opened the passenger's door and moved to settle her inside, but she clung onto him.

"Mmmm, no," she protested weakly. She turned her head and inhaled his comforting scent. "You're warm. You smell nice."

He laughed and it caused her head to jar slightly. She let out an irritated moan and leaned into him a little more.

"Well thanks, Princess," he said, still chuckling softly. "You're tired. Let's get you home so you can go to sleep."

She shook her head, turning her face into his chest.

"I don't wanna go to my house," she mumbled into his chest, wanting to make sure he understood what she meant. "I wanna go _home_."

His arms suddenly brought her tight to his chest in a bone-crushing hug.

"You got it, Fern," he said reverently. "You got it."

Then suddenly, completely without warning, he lifted her off her feet and smoothly placed her in the car. The door was shut and he was halfway around to his side of the car before she'd even processed what had happened. It did, however, leave her feeling just a little more awake.

When he got in, he looked over at her expectantly.

"What?" she asked with a smile, her voice still sounding tired.

_He's so adorable…_ she thought. _Wait, where'd that come from. Ah, who cares. He _is_ adorable. _

He grinned at her, his bright blue eyes sparkling with surprised laughter.

"Just waiting for the punch I know you're dying to send my way," he teased her. She tensed, and her smile slipped away. Deeks's grin slowly turned into a confused, concerned expression. "What's wrong?"

_So many, many, many things…_ she thought to herself. Kensi glared at her hands, steeling her nerves for the coming conversation.

"No more punches," she said, hesitantly meeting his eyes.

"What do you… Huh? What do you mean, '_no more punches_'? Like… _ever_?" he asked incredulously. The teasing glint was back in his eyes, but he still looked confused. Kensi took a deep breath.

"I mean," she said with a frustrated sigh, "that I punched you. I _punched_ you, Deeks!" His eyes flashed in understanding. "I really hurt you. And for some crazy reason, you don't hate me."

"Of course I don't hate you!" he exclaimed.

She felt relief at his works, but she continued as if he hadn't spoken. "So I'm not gonna tempt fate. If I'm really getting a second chance here, then there's no way I'm going to let something like that come between us."

She looked down at her hands, resting in her lap, and attempted to catch her breath.

_This is it,_ her brain screamed at her. _He's finally going to realize what an unstable basket case you really are, and he'll be headed for the hills. _

_No,_ she argued back weakly. _He wouldn't—_

Deeks reached over and took her hands into his, effectively silencing her thoughts.

"Kens," he said, tilting her chin up so she had to look into his eyes. "We both made emotional decisions on that case. You just… made a few more than I did." She gave a watery laugh, doing her best to glare at him. Judging from the way he laughed, however, she didn't look very threatening.

"Look, Kens, maybe I was angry—before everything went down. But then you charged into that meat locker and I took that shot and we talked and…" he trailed off. His gaze hardened slightly in determination. "We were figuring things out already, and it hadn't even been 24 hours. All we needed was some time."

_Time,_ she thought, shaking her head incredulously. She couldn't stop the tears from streaking down her face. _I don't deserve this man. I don't deserve his love or his forgiveness. But I'll be damned if I don't spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it. _

As if he could read her thoughts, he smiled and pulled her closer. As their lips met, all conscious thought flew out of her mind.

Pulling back, he grinned and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Alright, Fern," he said in a teasing tone. "Let's get you and baby Deeks home. You need some sleep."

* * *

Kensi awoke the next morning wrapped tightly in her partner's strong arms, feeling more rested than she had since before the whole Siderov ordeal. His hands were resting protectively over her stomach. She placed her hands on top of his and spun slowly around.

His blonde locks were falling slightly over his closed eyes, and there were still dark circles under his eyes, but his nose was twitching.

_"I have a tendency of doing that when I'm happy." _

She let out a slow breath and snuggled deeper into his embrace, being careful so as not to wake him. As she moved, his arms tightened around her, pulling her completely flush against him. She fit there perfectly, and so she closed her eyes and let her mind drift.

His thoughtfulness… his selflessness… his kindness… his honesty—even in the midst of what they did for a living—were all qualities that she wanted their son to have. She smiled as she felt a flutter in her stomach.

"Mmmm…" Deeks murmured as he began to wake. His lips came down and caressed the top of her head. "Mornin' Sunshine."

"Morning," she returned the greeting, pulling his lips down to hers. A few moments later he pulled back and grinned. Then he slid down, pushed up her sleep tank top, and kissed her stomach.

"Morning, baby Deeks," he said softly. She felt a lump begin to form in her throat as he used the same name she had the first time she'd spoken to their child. "It's daddy." He nuzzled her tummy with his scruff, causing her to giggle. "You hear that? Mommy thinks daddy is funny. She won't admit it, but she thinks I'm the funniest. And you're gonna be funny too… you and me, we'll gang up on mommy, but she'll love us anyways."

She ran her hands through his blonde locks, her eyes filling with tears as she listened to him speak to their child.

"If you're a girl, you'll have your mommy's beautiful chocolate hair—and probably her chocolate addiction, too." She tugged playfully on his ear at that. "Ow! And maybe your mommy's temper, too. But if you're a boy—which I'm pretty sure you are…" He lowered his voice to a stage-like whisper. "Your mommy's a Leo, so she's _always_ right. She says you're a boy, so that means you _have_ to be a boy."

"Hey!" Kensi protested weakly. Deeks managed to look away from her stomach for just a moment. "I don't _always_ have to be right."

He just raised his eyebrows, clearly trying not to laugh.

"Let's hope you get your mother's inability to lie," he said conspiratorially to their baby. Kensi laughed. "Anyways, if you're a boy—which you probably are—you're going to be a handful. You'll get my charm and your mommy's laugh—but only her real one… seriously Kens, you cannot give our son your maniacal crazy-woman laugh."

Kensi gave an overly-exaggerated laugh, and Deeks pretended to be horrified.

"Touché," she said, still laughing. Deeks shuddered.

"And you are most definitely going to learn the proper way to use touché."

"I use it right!" Kensi protested.

"Sure you do, Fern," he said, clearly humoring her. "Sure you do."

"I do so," she said petulantly. He laughed and his ocean-blue eyes sparkled. She couldn't take it any longer. She pulled him back up to her, attaching her lips to his.

"Mmm… we're hungry," she said, pulling away to rest her forehead against his. He laughed.

"Way to ruin the moment, Fern," he said, but he rolled out of bed. "You feeling donuts?" he asked her.

"How do you know me so well?" she wondered aloud. He just laughed.

"Don't worry, Fern," he said as he threw on a shirt. He leaned over and kissed her, then whispered in her ear, "I'll be right back."

She shivered at his proximity, and before she could act on the desire racing through her veins, he turned, grabbed Monty's leash, hooked up the dog, and walked out the door. For a long moment she sat there, mouth opened like a fish, staring at the door.

_You might as well get in the shower,_ she thought, eventually getting ahold of herself. _If I wait until he gets back, it'll end up taking way too long, and we'll be late. _

It didn't matter that Callen had told them to come in whenever they could. She didn't want their first day back—after everyone knew they were together—to become fodder for teasing.

With a heavy sigh, she tossed the covers aside and walked to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, and as the hot water relaxed her muscles, she couldn't help but wonder how it was that she'd managed to get everything she never knew she'd always wanted.

* * *

A half hour later, freshly showered and dressed, Kensi was finishing applying her make up when Deeks walked through the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" he called out in a singsongy voice. She smirked at his cheesiness and leaned out into the hallway.

"In the bathroom," she called back in an equally singsongy voice. A few moments later he arrived with a box of all her favorites. She grinned at him.

"I didn't know which one you were feeling this morning, so I just got one of each."

She smiled at his thoughtfulness, and leaned over to kiss him. As she did, she got a full breath of donut smell, and her stomach lurched. She jerked back, placed her hand over her mouth, ran to the toilet, and was promptly sick. Violently.

Only seconds after reaching the toilet, she felt her hair being pulled back by steady hands. She heaved again, and she felt his other hand begin to rub circles on her back. He murmured quiet assurances to her as he did all this.

Her whole body was shaking, and her mouth tasted terrible. Finally, when she was sure she couldn't possibly have anything left in her stomach, she leaned back against his chest. She closed her eyes and inhaled his salty, ocean-like… Deeks smell. It eventually saturated her senses, and she was able to stop shaking.

"M'sorry," she mumbled into his chest.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, tightening his grip on her. "I'm sorry you're sick, Princess," he continued. "Is there… s-something I can do? Is this… _normal_? Do you need to go to a doctor?"

She couldn't help but chuckle at his adorable concern. She knew he was really concerned, but she also realized that he was trying to make her smile.

"It's called morning sickness, Deeks," she told him gently, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "And we do have an appointment, tomorrow late morning. Hetty booked us, and by the way, we both have tomorrow off."

Deeks shook his head. "Of course she did. Why am I surprised?"

"I don't know, babe," Kensi said, shaking her head. She pulled away from Deeks slightly. "Alright." She started to get up. Deeks scrambled to his feet and offered her a hand up. Kensi opened her mouth to protest—she could get up just fine on her own, thank you very much. But then she saw the look of loving concern on his face and she took his hand.

"Let me brush my teeth, then we should probably head into work," she said. Deeks nodded.

"I got coffee," he said a few minutes later when she came back into the kitchen. She gratefully took the warm cup from him and took a sip. She immediately spit it back out.

"Ugh! What the hell is this?" she asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust. His brow furrowed.

"It's decaf," he said. "I thought pregnant women weren't supposed to drink caffein…?"

"Are you kidding me?" she screeched incredulously. "Who cares? Give me your coffee!"

She reached across and grabbed his coffee.

"Uh, Kens—"

"Seriously! You got decaf, too!"

He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, uh, yeah…?" he said cautiously. "I mean, you can't have caffein, so I figured it's only fair that I can't have caffein either…?"

With that statement, all Kensi's annoyance vanished. She sat the coffee down on the table and strode forward towards him. He cringed away from her, but she ignored him. Taking his face into her hands, she pulled him down and kissed him passionately on the lips. It took him a moment to respond, but when he did, he pulled her flush against him and deepened the kiss.

"Wow. What was that for?" he asked when they finally separated. She smiled.

"For being your amazing self," she replied with a wink. She glanced down at her watch. "Now c'mon, we've gotta get going," she said, grabbing his hand and dragging him out the door.

"Woah, there Kensalina," he said, hastily locking the door and following her. "What's the rush? Callen said we could take as much time as we needed, remember?"

"Oh I remember," she said, getting into the driver's side. Once he was in she started the car and backed out of the lot. "But if we're late they'll probably just tease us mercilessly. And I am so not up for that this morning."

He just chuckled. "Yeah, you're right."

"So what's on the agenda for today?" she wondered aloud as she entered the freeway. She kept half her focus on his answer and half on periodically checking for tails.

"We've still got an open case," he said, "but we're kinda hitting a wall with that. Hopefully we'll have a new lead to check out today. How about you? Are you cleared yet?"

"Psych eval today," she told him. "After that, I'll be cleared to be back on the team."

* * *

A few hours after they got in to work, the guys left to check out a lead from an ongoing case, and Kensi—still not completely cleared to be back—headed up the stairs to OPS to catch up with Nell. When she entered the familiar room, Nell was sitting with her back to the door, reading multiple articles at the same time.

"Hey Kens," Nell said without turning around, before Kensi even had a chance to open her mouth. Kensi just chuckled.

"You've been spending too much time with Hetty, haven't you?" she laughed. Nell exited out of the data she'd been analyzing and spun her chair around to face Kensi.

"It's a distinct possibility," Nell said, sounding too much like Hetty.

"Okay, that might be a little creepy," Kensi said, shaking her head.

"So what's up?" Nell asked, changing the subject.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to get some lunch. It's kinda slow around here, and I can't do anything but after action reports until I'm cleared by my psych eval this afternoon, so…" she trailed off, looking to Nell for an answer. Nell smiled.

"Sure, that sounds great! Nothing going on up here that can't wait. I know this great new sandwich shop that just opened a few weeks ago. You'll love it!" Then her smile faded. "I mean, if that sounds okay to you. They have soup and such, or if that makes you feel nauseous—"

"No, that sounds great Nell," Kensi said, cutting her friend off with a laugh. "Honestly, right now, _anything_ sounds better than an MRE."

"Man, I can't imagine," Nell said. The two friends grabbed their bags and walked out of OSP together. "The shop is right down the street here, so if you feel up for walking it'll only take a few minutes."

"Mmmmm…" Kensi said, falling into step beside Nell. "I missed this. The sunshine, the warmth… home."

"Yeah…" Nell nodded. "So… what's it like being back?"

"It's been better than I could've imagined, Nell," Kensi said with a genuine smile. "I just missed my… _everything_." She paused. "And everyone."

"Everyone?" Nell asked, raising her eyebrows. "Or one person in particular?"

"Like I said," Kensi said with a private, intimate smile. She couldn't help the slight blush that reached her cheeks. "I missed my _everything_."

Nell just nodded, clearly not understanding Kensi's implication. She sighed.

"Yeah, I missed him a lot," Kensi admitted as they entered the small sub shop. The two women ordered their sandwiches and sat down in a booth. Kensi dug in immediately. After her bout of morning sickness, she hadn't eaten anything, and she definitely wasn't used to that.

"So I guess he does know from intimate experience, huh?" Nell mumbled after a long, quiet moment. She looked over at Kensi with a slight grin, but she sounded like she hadn't meant to speak her thoughts aloud.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kensi asked, setting her remaining sandwich back on her paper. _Who knows what from… intimate?… experience?_

Nell's words caused a rather sick feeling to grow in Kensi's stomach.

"Oh, uh," Nell chuckled and shifted in her seat uncomfortably. "Well, the first case after you… left… we were, um, examining a potential suspect—a lawyer. I was digging into her financials—"

"You—you didn't send Deeks undercover, did you?" Kensi interrupted, suddenly really feeling a sick to her stomach. "Not like… like with—" she couldn't even bring herself to utter the woman's name.

"_No_!" Nell exclaimed. Kensi felt a wave of relief. "Oh, god, Kens, no! Besides, considering…" Nell gestured to Kensi's abdomen, "…you know he'd _never_."

"Yeah," Kensi said, nodding her head and breathing normally. "Yeah, I know that. I do. I-I guess the rational part of my brain isn't fully functional at the moment."

"That's completely understandable," Nell replied with an understanding smile.

_So then what did she mean, 'intimate knowledge'?_

"So then what did you mean about _'intimate knowledge,' _exactly?" Kensi asked. Nell laughed again.

"Well, when we were examining her expense reports," Nell began, "we found some discrepancies."

"Discrepancies?" Kensi wondered aloud.

"A lawyer pulling 150k a year affording Louis Vittons? Not likely." Kensi nodded in understanding, motioning for Nell to continue. "Well, I said that her income couldn't cover her lease, her car, or her Louis Vittons, but none of the guys knew what those were…"

"Except for Deeks," Kensi interrupted with a smile. Nell nodded her head.

"Except for Deeks," Nell confirmed. "I've been meaning to ask you that, by the way. How does he know that?"

"I may or may not have an unhealthy addiction to Top Model that Deeks doesn't mind feeding," Kensi said with a slight blush. Nell just nodded in understanding.

"Well," Nell continued, "they guys asked what they were, and Deeks answered. Everyone was giving him these confused looks, which of course made him feel uncomfortable…"

"Which translated into babbling," Kensi finished. She pressed her lips together. "What'd he say?"

_***FLASHBACK***_

_"What? My partner's a woman. Or… at least, she _was_. I mean she's _still_ a woman. Actually I'm not sure if she's still a woman. I'm _sure_ she's still a woman. Not that I know that from any sort of _intimate_ experience, I'm just saying that—right _now_—she's not here… with… me."_

_***FLASHBACK***_

Kensi just chuckled, looking down at her sandwich. "Oh my god, he actually said that?"

Nell just smiled. "Yeah, well I think he was really sleep deprived—especially in those first few weeks."

Kensi's smile fell as she listened. "Yeah," she said softly. "We haven't talked about that since I've been home. There's just been so many other things, and…"

Nell nodded in understanding.

"Anyways, he's just… he's been great, Nell. He's taking this so much better than I could've imagined. I was so scared to tell him—"

"Why?" Nell interrupted, looking genuinely confused. "I mean, how many times have I interrupted the two of you in awkward moments? And I'd say a good 90% of them have to do with him offering to help you create little… what was the term?"

"Mutant ninja assassins," Kensi said with a fond smile. She placed her hand on her still flat stomach. "Our little mutant ninja assassins."

"Exactly," Nell said, nodding her head.

"Again, my logical brain wasn't exactly working right, Nell," Kensi said with a laugh. "I was scared out of my wits—I still am, a little—but I was also excited, because I know that this is what he's always wanted. And sure, it might be a little sooner than either of us expected, but it just feels… _right_."

* * *

_**Just a small reminder that reviews make my day :)**_


	6. The Past

_**AN: Hey guys! Thank you all for the amazing response to the last chapter! As always, it's what keeps me writing :) That said, this chapter is kinda different, so I'll need lots of feedback. Many people have requested that this story continue, and I really want to do that, so I'm adding in a case. I mean, you can't have a multi-chapter story without a case, right? Right. So, this chapter is meant to set up the case. **_

_**I wasn't too sure about it at first, but I think it turned out pretty good. **_

_**As always, thanks to the fantabulous Bamie02 for her help editing and talking me through things. Also, EmmyLou74 and Moreclassythansassy, for all their encouragement. And all of you who review! Seriously, reviews make my day! **_

_**So, without further ado, in the midst of all the Valentine's Day fluff, here's… well… this. A belated Valentine's Day present. :)**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

Deeks walked back through the door, a half hour after leaving, with a box of all of Kensi's favorite donuts and two cups of coffee. He sat the coffees down on the counter, unhooked Monty, and scratched the mutt behind the ears.

"Honey, I'm home!" he called out in a cheesy, singsongy voice that he knew would make her laugh. It worked, and he was rewarded with her laughter as it floated out to him from down the hall. It eased his anxiety.

He hated it, but a part of him had wondered if she'd still be there when he got back. Maybe everything had been a dream, and she was still in Afghanistan. Or maybe she would stop opening up and run away from him again.

"In the bathroom," she called back in an equally singsongy voice, interrupting his train of thought. He smiled, shook his head, and walked down the hall to the bathroom with the donut box. She grinned at him.

"I didn't know which one you were feeling this morning," he said, "so I just got one of each."

She smiled and leaned over to kiss him, and he smiled, leaning in toward her. Before their lips met, however, she suddenly jerked back, placed her hand over her mouth, ran to the toilet, and was promptly sick. Violently.

Deeks was stunned for only a moment before he instinctively sprang into motion. He crouched down beside her, gathering her hair away from her face. As she continued to heave, he rubbed circles on her back and murmured quiet words of encouragement. He felt so helpless as she finally leaned back against him, shaking. For once, he didn't know what to say, so he just stayed silent and held her.

After a long moment, she stirred and snuggled into him.

"M'sorry," she mumbled into his chest.

_Oh, Kens… _

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, tightening his grip on her. "I'm sorry you're sick, Princess," he continued. He hated to see her in pain, even if there was a really good reason behind it. He also hated being unable to help her. As her partner—and now as her boyfriend—it was his job to protect her.

"Is there… s-something I can do?" he continued after a moment. "Is this… _normal_? Do you need to go to a doctor?"

He felt slightly relieved when she managed to chuckle at his lame babbling.

"It's called morning sickness, Deeks," she told him gently, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "And we do have an appointment, tomorrow late morning. Hetty booked us, and by the way, we both have tomorrow off."

Deeks shook his head. "Of course she did," he said, more to himself than to Kensi. "Why am I surprised?"

"I don't know, babe," Kensi said, shaking her head. She pulled away from Deeks slightly, but he barely registered it. His mind was still lingering on the '_babe'_ that had slipped out of her mouth in her unguarded state.

"Alright." She started to get up. Deeks scrambled to his feet and offered her a hand up. For a moment, he thought she would refuse—maybe even snap at him—but then she took his hand and allowed him to help her to her feet. He couldn't hide his grin.

"Let me brush my teeth, then we should probably head into work," she said. Deeks nodded and headed back into the kitchen. He sat out food for Monty and gathered up his own things for work.

"I got coffee," he said a few minutes later when she came back into the kitchen. She gratefully took the warm cup from him and took a sip. She immediately spit it back out.

"Ugh! What the hell is this?" she asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust. His brow furrowed.

_Oh boy…_

He'd known he was taking a risk, bringing her decaf coffee. But even with the extremely limited knowledge he had of pregnancies, he was pretty sure that pregnant women weren't allowed to have caffeine.

_I need to get some literature,_ he thought to himself. His partner's glare intensified, so he quickly turned his attention back to her.

"It's decaf," he said cautiously. Four years as her partner gave him adequate respect for her addiction to caffeine. "I thought pregnant women weren't supposed to drink caffeine…?"

"Are you kidding me?" she screeched incredulously. "Who cares? Give me your coffee!"

She reached across and grabbed his coffee.

"Uh, Kens—" but he couldn't get the warning out before she was spitting _his_ coffee back into _his_ cup.

"Seriously! You got decaf, too!"

He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck.

_Now would be a good time to use that famous charm,_ he thought to himself. Unfortunately, he happened to be dealing with the only female he'd ever met who was mostly resistant to said charm.

"Well, uh, yeah…?" he began cautiously. "I mean, you can't have caffeine, so I figured it's only fair that I can't have caffeine either…?"

He clamped his mouth shut after that statement, determined not to launch into another babbling spree. Kensi's eyes widened, and then they were absolutely unreadable. She sat his coffee cup down on the table and took a determined step toward him.

Despite her words from the night before, a minor flashback to that hotel flashed in his mind, and he instinctively took a step back. He tried to keep the fear off his face, but he was pretty sure he didn't succeed. She continued her advance, but this time he held his ground.

Before he knew what was happening, Kensi reached up, cupped his face in her hands, and kissed him. He stood there for a moment, completely frozen, before he pulled her in tighter and kissed her back.

"Wow," he whispered when breathing finally became a necessity. "What was that for?" She smiled.

"For being your amazing self," she replied with a wink. She pulled away and glanced down at her watch, but he just stood there, stupefied.

_She thinks I'm amazing?_

"Now c'mon, we've gotta get going," she said, grabbing his hand and dragging him out the door, effectively snapping him out of his trance.

"Woah, there Kensalina," he said, hastily locking the door and following her. "What's the rush? Callen said we could take as much time as we needed, remember?"

"Oh I remember," she said, getting into the driver's side. Once he was in she started the car and backed out of the lot. "But if we're late they'll probably just tease us mercilessly. And I am so not up for that this morning."

He just chuckled. "Yeah, you're right."

"So what's on the agenda for today?" she wondered aloud as she entered the freeway.

"We've still got an open case," he said, getting a strange feeling at the thought, "but we're kinda hitting a wall with that. Hopefully we'll have a new lead to check out today." He shook it off and turned the conversation to her. "How about you? Are you cleared yet?"

"Psych eval today," she told him, rolling her eyes. He smirked, totally able to relate to the horrors of the psych eval. "After that, I'll be cleared to be back on the team."

* * *

When they arrived at work, things were pretty quiet. Sam and Callen were still somewhat in shock, so they hadn't come up with too many new jokes yet. Still, Deeks figured he'd be getting the 'big-brothers-talk' at some point soon.

_Sooner than later, I guess,_ he thought as he caught Sam's gaze. He just nodded at Sam and turned back to his paperwork.

A little before noon, Eric came down and informed them that they had a lead on their stalled case. Sam and Callen motioned for him to follow them as they made their way out of the room. Deeks got up, sent a quick smile to Kensi—who returned it with a silent demand that he _be safe_, which he returned with an equally silent _always_—and followed the guys to the Challenger. He didn't even protest as he climbed into the cramped backseat.

_I can't wait to be working with Kensi again,_ he thought to himself as Sam peeled out of the mission parking lot. _But, will she be coming back? I mean, of course she'll be coming back, but she can't do field work… can she? I mean, with the baby…? _He frowned slightly and sighed. _Man, we _still_ have a _lot_ to talk about. _

Traffic was bad—even by mid-afternoon LA standards—so the Challenger was moving through the city at a snail's pace. The car was quiet and tense, and frankly, it was making Deeks uncomfortable. So, as he usually did in such situations, he opened his mouth.

"So I suppose this is the part where you tell me about all the different ways you can kill me, huh?" he asked lightheartedly. When neither man immediately responded, he continued, "I mean, you know that this is… it's the real deal, right? I mean, we're _together_-together. I mean, obviously—we are having a _baby_, so _obviously_ we're… and I mean, we're together. As much as Kensi wants. I mean, as much as we… are, which is, you know… together. And we _are_ figuring things out, but I mean, she did just get back yesterday, and I think, at this point, it's really… well it's personal feelings, which are, you know—"

"Deeks!" Sam finally cut in, turning around in his seat. When he did, Deeks could see the laughter in his eyes, and he mock scowled.

"You're laughing at me!" Deeks complained with a smile, but he couldn't keep the relief out of his voice.

"Can you blame us?" Sam teased back. "That was… _some_ speech."

"Yeah, well, I didn't really have the time to wax poetic," Deeks grumbled good-naturedly. He was just glad that Sam and Callen seemed to be in a good mood.

"I'll give you that," Sam said, laughing and shaking his head.

"So we're… skipping the 'big brothers' speech?" Deeks asked hopefully.

"Well it's a little late to tell you not to knock up our little sister," Callen commented dryly. Deeks choked slightly in surprise and fought the blush he felt coming.

"Yeah, maybe a little," he sheepishly agreed.

"In all seriousness, though," Sam finally said, again turning around to look at Deeks, "we really are happy for you guys. You've both been through a lot to get to where you are, so we have absolute faith that you can get through anything that life'll throw your way."

A blaring horn behind them interrupted the moment, and Sam turned his attention back to the freeway, which was moving at a normal speed once again.

"Besides," Sam said as he pulled off the freeway and onto a side street in a shady part of town, "I'm gonna be the best Uncle ever!"

"Well, the _second_ best," Callen qualified. Sam scoffed, and took a sharp right turn.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"And how do you figure that?" Sam asked as the car finally eased to a stop across the street from their destination.

Deeks just laughed at their antics and opened his mouth to tease them both, but when he looked up at the location, his laughter died off. Cold dread settled in his gut, and that strange feeling from that morning was back.

"Well, I mean, seriously, of the two of us, I'm the only one with a successful Uncle-ship," Callen said. Sam scoffed again.

"That's only because Michelle and I have no siblings, and _you_ don't have any kids," Sam argued back.

"So?"

"So? What do you mean, '_so_'?" Sam asked incredulously. "It means that I have children, therefore it doesn't matter that I've never been an Uncle before. I _clearly_ have the most experience with kids. Right Deeks?"

But Deeks barely heard him. When he didn't answer, Sam turned around.

"Deeks?" he repeated. Deeks startled slightly and turned his gaze away from the memories of the place in front of him. "You alright?" Sam asked, slight concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm—I'm fine," Deeks said, attempting to shake it off. Sam's eyes narrowed, and Deeks could tell he didn't believe him. He sighed. "It's just, uh… I—I know this place."

"You know this place?" Callen asked, sounding surprised.

Deeks looked up at the ceiling of the Challenger, wishing like hell that he'd just made Kensi stay in bed with him all day.

"Yeah, uh, people… people know me here," he said, avoiding both senior agents' confused stares.

"As Max?" Callen asked.

_I wish,_ Deeks thought wryly.

"No," he said out loud. He exhaled slowly and looked at his team leader. "As Martin Brandel."

"Wait," Callen said, not completely understanding, "you mean…?"

"Yeah," Deeks said. He shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, but he knew that it _was_. "This was my old man's favorite dive bar. Most of the people are regulars—they come in every day, and they never move on. It's been… almost 20 years, but I'd guess some of them will still recognize me."

"When did you become… Deeks?" Callen asked. Deeks was silently grateful for his quiet understanding.

"The day I turned eighteen," he said. "Look, we can't go in there, badges flashing. No one'll say a word, and we'll be back to square one. But I can go in there—"

"You know we're not letting you go in there alone," Callen interrupted, shaking his head. Deeks sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Yes you are," Deeks argued, meeting Callen's hard stare. Deeks fought to keep the emotion out of his voice as he reasoned logically, "This is a community bar. Strangers don't just drop in—it doesn't work that way. I'm not a stranger, so I can go in. I might be able to get the information we need."

"And what about Kensi?" Sam asked, suddenly entering the conversation. Deeks turned to him with a confused look.

_She's at the mission…_

"What _about_ Kensi?" he asked. "She's at the mission, and—"

"And you seriously think she'd be okay with you heading in there on your own? Or that she'd let us live if she found out we _let_ you?" Sam shook his head. "_Hell_ no."

"Look, I'm not going in there without backup," Deeks said, running his hand through his hair in frustration. "I'll wear my coms, and you guys will be right outside. I'll carry my gun. Seriously, nothing's gonna happen. In and out. Simple."

"When is it _ever_ simple?" Sam asked, but Deeks could see that Callen was already weakening.

* * *

_**"You're taking the wrath of Kensi for this one, Deeks," **_Sam's voice said over the coms as Deeks walked across the street. Deeks smirked.

"Yeah, like any of us can hide from the wrath of a seriously pissed off Bad-Ass Blye," he said. "It'll be fine, guys."

_**"You're probably the only one she'd actually let survive, so forgive me for not believing you," **_Sam chuckled softly. Deeks shook his head, opened the door, and stepped inside the bar.

"Well would you look at what the cat dragged in!" a vaguely familiar voice called as Deeks's eyes adjusted to the low lighting. "If it ain't the little Brandel brat. What's it been, son?"

"About twenty years," Deeks said, too easily slipping into his Max Gentry character. He took another step into the bar, and he could finally see his surroundings. The bar was just as he remembered it from his childhood—dimly lit, smoky, with an unidentified, putrid smell hanging in the air.

"It's like looking at a damn ghost," the man said. "You look exactly like yer old man. Except with shaggy, unkept hair."

It took all of Deeks's willpower to keep from bristling at the man's words.

_You are nothing like him,_ he reminded himself. But as he felt himself slip more into his Max-facade, he wasn't so sure.

_**"Don't let him get inside your head, Deeks," **_Sam's voice came in through his coms. _**"You're nothing like him. You got this."**_

The man at the bar was probably around the same age Deeks's father would be, but he looked a lot older. His skin was wrinkled and his hair was white. Something about the man set off warning bells in Deeks's head.

"I know you," Deeks said. It didn't come off as a question, but the man still answered it.

"You do," he confirmed, nodding his head. "I taught you a lesson or two for your dad back in the day." And suddenly, Deeks remembered him. _Howard Comings. _An old friend of Gordon's. Deeks clenched his jaw against the memories, ignoring the twinge of pain the motion still caused. "So, to what do we owe the honor of your presence, Brandel?"

"I'm looking for James Ortega," Deeks said, playing it off with a casualness he didn't feel. "You seen him around?"

"Why you askin'?" Howard demanded.

"I got business with him," Deeks said vaguely.

"What kinda business?"

"The kind that's none of _your_ damn business, Howard," Deeks responded sharply.

_**"Deeks,"**_ Callen's warning tone came over the line, but Deeks ignored it. He knew how to act in these situations, and he knew he was on the right track when the man at the bar finally laughed.

"Martha! Get this man a drink." Howard shoved another man—who was half-way unconscious already—off the barstool next to him. "Have a seat, kid."

Deeks gritted his teeth and sat beside Howard as Martha placed a beer in front of him.

"This got something to do with Ray?" the man asked. Deeks didn't let his surprise show.

"Maybe. Why'd you ask?"

"Eh, he and James ran in the same… _crowd_ awhile ago," Howard said, waving his hand around. "They used to hang out here, all buddy-buddy. But then, after the… new bosses came around, Ray left. Haven't heard from him. Have you?"

Deeks pushed away the ignored drink that Martha had placed in front of him. He grabbed a napkin and wrote Max Gentry's phone number on it, thankful that he had an excuse to leave.

"If you see James, tell him a friend of Ray's has got some news for him. Here's a number he can contact me at." Deeks handed him the napkin and stood up.

"You heading out already? C'mon, at least have one drink. Your old man wouldn't'a left without a drink or two."

_And don't I know it,_ Deeks thought to himself.

Out loud, he said, "I'm not my old man, but thanks anyways."

With that, he turned and walked out the door, careful to keep the Max Gentry mask on his face as he headed straight back to the Challenger. He opened the passenger's door—thankfully Callen had already slid into the back seat—and got in.

"Drive," he commanded Sam. Sam didn't question him. He just revved the engine and took off. It wasn't until they were on the freeway that anyone spoke.

"You alright?" Callen asked from the back seat.

"Fine," Deeks answered, still using his Max-voice. He winced slightly at Sam and Callen's looks. "I'm fine," he repeated in his normal voice. "It wasn't a blast, but we got the information we needed. I should be hearing from him soon."

"Yeah, then what?" Sam asked. "You going undercover as yourself?"

Deeks sighed, "I sure as hell hope not."

* * *

The rest of the drive passed in relative silence as Deeks contemplated what he was going to tell Kensi. On one hand, he didn't want her to worry—especially with the baby—but on the other hand, he knew he couldn't keep something like this from her. And more so, he didn't want to, because he knew it would only hurt her.

When they walked into the mission, he immediately looked for Kensi, but he didn't see her.

_She's probably still at her psych eval,_ he reminded himself, slightly disappointed but mostly grateful. Sam and Callen headed up to OPS to fill in Eric and Nell, and Deeks took the opportunity to head to the gym. He needed some time to understand everything that was going through his mind.

_Maybe a few rounds with the punching bag will help me sort this all out._

He changed into his workout gear, wrapped his hands, and took his stance in front of the bag. Before long, his focus narrowed until it was just him and the bag. He hit a rhythm quickly and continued it, over and over again, until sweat began to form on his forehead and drip down into his eyes.

With every calculated swing, he imagined faces on the bag. Sometimes his father, sometimes Howard, sometimes Siderov, sometimes Max, sometimes Granger, sometimes even Hetty. He let out some of the anger he'd been keeping pent up for far too long, and it felt good.

After a long while, he grabbed the bag, stopping it's swinging. He leaned his head against it and just focused on breathing. In and out. Suddenly, he sensed that he wasn't alone. Turning around, he saw her, leaning against the climbing wall with a concerned expression on her beautiful face. He let out a breath and stepped toward her.

"Hey Kens," he said softly. "How was your eval?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Really? That's what you're leading with? _'How was your eval?'_ Are you serious?"

He laughed at her harsh tone. She was clearly worried.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I wasn't trying to avoid the obvious—" she snorted, and he laughed again, "—okay, maybe I _was_, a little, but I really am curious. How was the eval?"

"It was fine," she said, waving her hand as if it wasn't a big deal. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her choice of wording, and she rolled her eyes. "Seriously, I didn't do much of anything over there—nothing happened—so it was more a formality than anything."

"That's good, right?" he asked. She nodded. "So then you're cleared to be back? Fully?" She nodded again. "Did Sam and Callen bring you up to speed?"

"Just the basics," she said. "I wanted to hear the rest from you."

He just nodded, expecting that. Still, he wasn't sure where to begin.

"Maybe we should talk about this at home," she said, seeming to sense his hesitation. He smiled at her gratefully. She smiled back at him and pulled him into a hug. "I just want to listen."

He pulled back and looked into her beautiful, mismatched eyes. She looked up at him and smiled. Then her nose scrunched up adorably.

"You stink," she explained, but her arms stayed on his shoulders. He laughed. "Go take a shower."

He waggled his eyes at her suggestively. "Wanna join me?"

She blushed brilliant red, and scoffed. "Not at work, Deeks."

He just laughed and pulled away from her.

"Yeah, yeah… You say that now. We'll just see how long that lasts," he called over his shoulder before ducking into the men's locker room. He heard something hit the door behind him and he smirked.

* * *

An hour later, freshly showered and clean smelling, Deeks sat on the couch with Kensi the way he had multiple times. This time—for obvious reasons—their usual beers were replaced with glasses of water.

"So…" Kensi began hesitantly. "What happened today?"

Deeks let out a sigh, wishing for the thousandth time that he had never left the bed that morning.

"Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Kensi said, pulling away from him slightly. "I can just talk to Callen and Sam, and—"

"No," Deeks interrupted her. He pulled her close and settled her head against his chest, leaning his back against the corner of the couch. He wove his fingers into her hair. "No, I want to tell you. It's just… I've never really talked about it. Ever."

"Start from the beginning," she whispered softly. "I'll just listen." She nuzzled her face against his chest. "No matter what, I love you." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach, then placed both of her hands on top of his. She relaxed against him completely and waited patiently for him to speak.

Her gesture was exactly what he needed to be able to tell the story.

"When we got to the location, I realized it was the bar my… Gordon always went to drink. If he wasn't at home, you could always find him there. My mom used to send me out to look for him—to bring him home to us—like he was someone we'd want around," he said, shaking his head. He paused for a moment and moved his thumb over her exposed midsection.

"I'd use some of that time to study," he continued, knowing he was rambling and unable to stop. "I always knew where he was, so I'd sneak off with Ray to study for a few minutes before I would head to the bar. Sometimes I'd get a beating at the bar—with my dad's friends helping out—but most of the time he'd take me home first. When he took me home, it usually wasn't too bad, just some bruisings and such. He passed out before it went any farther. But when we stayed at the bar…" he trailed off, unable to find the words to describe what those beatings had been like. He felt Kensi nod against his chest and begin to pull back to look at him, but he tightened his grip on her. He couldn't look into her eyes. Not yet. He had to finish first.

"It was hard, walking in there today," he said after a long pause. "I saw Howard, Gordon's friend, and he said… he said I look exactly like him. But I…" he paused again, unwilling or unable to voice his deepest fear. Kensi pulled away slightly, and this time he couldn't hold her.

"You what, Deeks?" she prodded gently. She looked into his eyes, and the understanding he saw there was exhilarating.

"I don't want to be anything like him," he admitted in barely a whisper. Her eyes flashed in understanding, but he needed to continue. "You asked me once—when we were taking that _partner_ survey—" this got a smile out of her, "what my greatest fear was. I don't want to be anything like him. And now, especially now… I want to be a good dad. I want to be there for our little mutant ninja assassin. I want to be there for you."

* * *

**_Thanks for reading! _**


	7. Is History

_**AN: Hey guys! Here I am, back with a new chapter :) This one was strange… I kept thinking, just one last scene, then I'm done… but it just kept going and going… so, longest chapter yet! (over 8,000 words!) **_

_**I completely forgot to put this in the last author's note, so here it is: Justareader07 had the brilliant idea for the best uncle debate! She inspired that! Thanks so much! :) **_

_**Also, thank you to Bamie02 for being so patient with me. (YOU ROCK FERN!) She read this over for me, and keeps me focused and accountable when I'm writing :) We hit over 1,000 messages! Can you saw best sounding-board EVER!?**_

_**Please, please, please (insert Deeks's puppy eyes here) review! They make my day :)**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

"… and you'd have been really impressed with him," Nell continued on her rant as she and Kensi walked back from their lunch break. "He used your urban tracking techniques—even talked about the _base line_—when Sam and Callen went off the grid with Lily. I really enjoyed working with him, you know? He managed to teach me things without making me feel stupid, and he listened to things I knew that he didn't. And, he made sure Eshan got to keep that suit and have his perfect date with his Madden-football-playing dream girl, and—"

"Nell, slow down!" Kensi finally cut in as they approached the mission. "You been spending too much time with Deeks, or something?"

She'd meant it as a joke, but when Nell stopped suddenly and turned towards her, Kensi could tell she was absolutely serious.

"It was really rough on him, Kens," Nell said, holding her gaze steadily. Kensi felt her heart clench in her chest at the thought of her Deeks, feeling the same feelings of loneliness that she'd felt. "He did a good job of covering it up, but..."

Kensi nodded, but she wished Nell would just stop. She really didn't want to think about it. She knew it was something she'd have to address with her partner at some point in the near future, but she didn't want to face it yet.

"I honestly didn't even realize how bad it was until Hetty put me out in the field with him," Nell continued. Kensi held back a sigh and just listened, resigned and slightly anxious to hear about Deeks's time without her. "But he was just… well, he was _nothing_ like you always told me he was like—he wasn't chatty or cheeky or flirtatious—and it was _Christmas_, and—oh god, I really _do_ sound like him! Huh."

Kensi laughed, appreciating Nell's attempt to lighten the mood.

"That's not a bad thing at all, Nell," Kensi told her as they finally walked into the mission. "Hell, over… there, I found myself sounding like him, too. And _I_ was the funniest one there."

Nell smiled knowingly back at her, and Kensi felt relieved.

"So what do you and Eric have going on up in OPS today?" Kensi asked, shifting the subject as there were more ears to overhear inside the OSP building.

"A few open cases," Nell replied, easily allowing the subject change. "When's your eval?"

Kensi groaned and looked down at her watch. "About now, actually."

Nell laughed.

"Don't sound so enthused, Kens," a familiar voice called from Kensi's left. "I might think you're not excited to talk to me."

Nate!" Kensi exclaimed, spinning around to face him. "What're you doing here?"

"I've been temporarily reassigned," Nate said. Kensi grimaced at his wording, but she still managed a genuine smile.

"That's great! It'll be nice to have you hanging around the mission again," she said, genuinely glad to have him back.

"Well, I don't know about just handing around the mission," Nate said with a mysterious smile, "but it'll be good to be home for a bit." Kensi furrowed her brows at his slightly mysterious response, but Nate continued before she had a chance to question him. "Shall we?"

_Best to get it over with,_ Kensi thought to herself. She nodded and followed Nate into a secluded room. She couldn't help but wish Deeks had been back. She'd give almost anything for his comforting touch.

"So, how have you been, Kensi?" Nate asked as they settled onto comfortable chairs.

"You mean how am I dealing with my time in Afghanistan?" she asked him with a smirk. Nate laughed.

"Blunt as always," he said with a smile. "Alright. Why don't you tell me about your mission."

Kensi just shrugged.

"I honestly don't know much about it," she said. "When I got there, everyone was closed off. _No one_ had _any_ sense of humor—seriously, I was the funniest one there. It was awful."

"I bet," Nate said, laughing.

"I waited a few days before Granger arrived and told me what my mission was," Kensi continued. "I was brought in as a sniper to take out an American terrorist known as the White Ghost. The task force is tracking him, and I was supposed to take the shot when the opportunity arose."

"And how did you feel about that?" Nate asked her when she didn't continue. "What was it like, taking out an American citizen?"

Kensi just shrugged again.

"I wouldn't know," she said. Nate's brow furrowed in confusion. "I didn't take the shot," she explained. "I came home before the mission was complete."

In all the years she'd worked with Nate, Kensi had never seen him show much emotion, but even he couldn't hide his surprise. She was confused.

_Did he think I'd stay and put my child in harm's way? _

"You… left without completing the mission?" he asked. And it suddenly clicked in Kensi's mind.

_He doesn't know about the baby,_ she realized. She felt a small smile cross her face as she took in the opportunity before her. _Oh, this is great! _

"Yep," she said, using all her training and strength to keep a straight face. "I just left. They can figure it out."

Nate looked like he had no idea what to say, so Kensi finally took pity on him.

"Seriously Nate," she said, finally allowing herself to laugh, "how well do you know me? You know I wouldn't leave a mission for no reason."

"Yeah," Nate said, sounding relieved. "But, uh, unfortunately, Hetty didn't feel it necessary to inform me of that reason prior to our meeting, so perhaps you could enlighten me?"

"I… I'm, uh… I—" _Why is this so hard?! Just say it. _"I'm, uh, I'm pregnant."

Nate's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow. Okay. I can honestly admit—as your friend—that I did not see that one coming."

Kensi let out a small laugh and placed her hand on her stomach discretely.

"Yeah," she said, shaking her head and smiling softly, "we didn't, either. But it's a good thing, Nate. A really good thing."

"We?" Nate asked. "So the father…?"

"Deeks," Kensi confirmed with a nod.

"Oh," Nate said, surprise clearly written across his features. "So you two are—"

"Yeah, we're together, Nate," Kensi said, attempting to stop the blush she felt coming on.

Nate let out a long breath before his face broke out into a grin.

"Well it's about damn time!" he exclaimed.

"Wha—what?" Kensi spluttered. "How could you… I mean, were we that… um, that obvious the whole time?"

"Oh, come on Kensi," he said with a patronizing smile, "You could cut the sexual tension with a damn butter knife!" Kensi couldn't help but blush at his comment. She began to stutter a protest, but he interrupted her. "I'm kidding Kensi—well, mostly… kinda. I'm a psychologist. It's my job to pick up on those kind of things. So," he said, leaning back in his chair, "is this a new development, or something that's been going on for awhile?"

"Oh, um…" Kensi shifted in her chair and looked down at her shoes. "Yeah, it's… well it's… I guess you could say it's kinda, um, new."

"New as in…?" Nate prodded.

"New as in we've only been _together_-together for, um, two months, two weeks, and uh, three days…?"

"When were you sent to Afghanistan?" Nate wondered.

"Two months, two weeks, and two days ago."

Nate's eyes widened. "And how far along are you, exactly?" Nate asked.

"Ummm, well, uh, two months," Kensi said, blushing, "two weeks, and three, uh, days." Nate's expression stayed firmly curious, but Kensi couldn't help but feel the need to explain. And when the floodgates opened, she couldn't stop. "Well, there was… I mean, it was only one time—well, technically three—but it was that one night, and then I was, uh, sent to Afghanistan the next day."

"And how did… _it_ happen, exactly?" Nate asked. Kensi raised her eyebrows at his question, and Nate had the good grace to blush slightly at his unintentional insinuation. "I mean, what happened that led you both to acknowledging your feelings for each other and… acting on them?"

"Rehab," Kensi said with a laugh. Nate looked slightly confused, so she explained, "We went undercover in a rehab facility. Hetty sent me in as a nutritionist and Deeks was a sex addict."

Nate laughed, "I bet that was entertaining."

"Oh, you have no idea," Kensi said, shaking her head. She closed her eyes, and she was suddenly back in that day. When she spoke, it was unconsciously. "That night, he asked me if I was hungry. Tacos or something… I walked out with him, and he took us to some fancy restaurant. I was uncomfortable because I knew it meant something. But we still hadn't talked about that kiss, and I was just so damn scared, so I… I yelled at him."

She felt a tear escape her eye as she recalled his face as she'd accused him of never saying what he meant. For the first time, she analyzed the look that had appeared in his eyes before his outburst.

_He looked so hurt,_ she realized, and she felt her heart clench painfully in her chest. _How did I not see that before?_

"Kensi?"

"I—I accused him of never saying what he meant. Even though he… he kissed me outside Siderov's house, and I ran away. And then, after we'd finally wrapped up that dammed case, he told me… and I just… oh god, _for whatever it's worth_… I—" she was shaking, holding back the tidal wave of guilt that was threatening to drown her. "No wonder he thinks I don't care. Why does he put up with me? He's going to realize that I'm not worth it, and then he's going to leave—just like everyone else—except I won't be able to actually _blame_ him, because I messed up, not him. And—"

"Kens," Nate cut in. "You know he's not like… the others. You know that, right?"

Kensi took a deep breath and forced her logical mind to take back control over her emotions.

"Yeah Nate," she said. She nodded. _We're past that. He said he loves you. _"I do. I think this baby is already making me crazy." She wiped away a tear to prove her point.

"You know, I heard a quote once," Nate interrupted her. Kensi looked up at him expectantly. "'The past is history, the future is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.'"

Kensi was silent for a moment before bursting out in laughter. She clutched her stomach and doubled over, but it felt good to really laugh.

"That has got to be the cheesiest thing I've ever heard, Nate!" she gasped out when she could breathe. "And I've spent the majority of the last four and a half years with Deeks, so that's saying something."

"I know," he said with a grin. "But it's true. Think of it like this: you can't do anything about the mistakes either of you made in the past—and I think Deeks would be the first to tell you that it wasn't just you, Kens. And there's no use worrying about the future, either. You just have to face each day as it comes at you."

Kensi nodded. "I think… I think we can do that. Together."

* * *

Kensi walked out of her meeting with Nate feeling a little lighter than she had before she'd talked to him.

_Nate always was good at getting us to open up_, she thought wryly as she headed back out to the bull pen. _He had me spilling my guts before I even realized what I was doing._

She would have felt ashamed if she didn't feel better.

Kensi strode into the bull pen, smiling, and was greeted with Sam and Callen hunched over documents on their desk.

"Hey guys," Kensi greeted. She didn't wait for them to respond. "Where's Deeks?"

Sam looked up at her, his eyes tight with concern, and Kensi felt her lightness begin to evaporate.

_He's fine,_ she assured herself. _The guys wouldn't be sitting around here if he was hurt. You can't freak out every time he's not around. _

"Where is Deeks?" Kensi repeated when neither of the senior agents answered her first question.

"I think he's in the gym," Sam said slowly. Kensi felt confusion wash over her. "Working out some anger at the punching bag."

"What happened?" Kensi asked, immediately concerned for her partner. When neither man answered right away, she shook her head and moved toward the gym.

"Hang on just a second, Kens," Sam said, stepping in front of her. Kensi narrowed her eyes dangerously at him.

"I may be pregnant, Sam," she said in a deadly quiet tone, "but I can still kick your ass. Now move."

"Look, I'm not stopping you," Sam said, holding up his hands and wisely taking a step back. "I'm just saying… maybe you should give him a minute. I know he'll need to tell you the details, but we can tell you what we know. So you're prepared."

"Alright," Kensi said, crossing her arms across her chest. "Talk."

"Don't you want to, um, sit down, or something?" Sam asked. Kensi's eyes just narrowed even further.

"I'm pregnant, Sam," she said stiffly. "Not an invalid. _Talk_."

"Okay, okay," Sam said. "Sheesh. We went to a bar."

Kensi waited for him to continue, but he didn't seem to know how to say what he was trying to say.

"You went to a bar…?" she prompted, but still, neither man offered anything else. "God, that's like the beginning to a bad joke. If you two aren't going to tell me, I'll just go find my partner."

"It was the bar that Deeks's dad frequented," Callen said with a sigh, finally entering the conversation. Kensi gasped and spun around to face him. "We were there looking for James Ortega, a known associate of the Los Demonios del Loco—the Crazy Demons. Los Demonios has suspected ties to drug running, human trafficking, and of course, drugs. And recently, there was evidence of their involvement of a Navy officer's death. It's beginning to look like the cartel is aligning itself with a terrorist organization, but we're still unsure of the details."

Kensi just nodded, trying to absorb all the details. At the moment, however, the case wasn't what mattered the most to her.

"And—and Deeks?" she asked. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was more than just his dad's bar.

Callen sighed and looked over to Sam for help. Kensi shifted her gaze to the ex-Navy SEAL.

"Deeks came up with a plan to get the information that we needed—and it worked," he assured her, "—but it required Deeks to go in. As, well, um…"

"Not… not Max?" she pleaded. "Please, not… not Max?"

_He hates that Max,_ she thought to herself. _It's such a dark place for him, and he doesn't need that. Not now. Not with… everything._

She brought her hand to her stomach, breathing in and out to keep herself calm.

"No," Sam said, shaking his head. He sighed again. "Not as Max." Kensi felt a wave of relief, but it was short-lived. "As Martin Brandel."

* * *

_Martin Brandel._

The name was playing over and over in her mind, but she was unable to really grasp it. She couldn't imagine Deeks—_her_ Deeks—being someone else. For real, not undercover. But she pushed all that aside. She'd once told Monica—another moment that she hated to have to think about—that she didn't care about his past. She trusted the man he was now, and that was all that mattered to her.

_"So… I got Max Gentry, but you get the real deal. How's that?"_

_"Deeks is my partner."_

_"That's it?"_

_"It's enough."_

_"Is it? You know you can't trust him."_

_"I trust him with everything."_

_You trust the man he is now,_ she thought firmly. _And that's still all that matters. _

She entered the gym and saw her partner, laser focused on the bag. She couldn't help but flash back to the last time she'd seen him in a similar position—after he'd been fake fired—and the painful emotions she'd experienced that day. And she remembered—in hindsight—the look of pain that hid just under his impenetrable mask at that moment. She should've known, but then again, maybe she hadn't known him well enough by that point. Not like she did now, at the very least.

She silently walked into the room and leaned against the rock wall to watch him. He continued hitting the bag for a few more minutes before he grabbed it. He stilled the bag and leaned his head against it. He stood there for a long moment, just breathing in and out. She shifted slightly, letting him know she was there.

He tensed and turned around, but his expression cleared when he saw her.

"Hey Kens," he said softly, still breathing hard. "How was your eval?"

She couldn't believe the words she was hearing.

_How was my _eval_? Is he _kidding _me? He's got to be kidding me. _

She shot him an incredulous look. "Really? That's what you're leading with? _'How was your eval?'_ Are you serious?"

He laughed, but the sound was off. It only increased her worry.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I wasn't trying to avoid the obvious—" she snorted in disbelief, and he laughed again, sounding slightly more like himself "—okay, maybe I _was_, a little, but I really am curious. How was the eval?"

"It was fine," she said distractedly. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her choice of wording, and she rolled her eyes, correctly reading his thoughts. "Seriously, I didn't do much of anything over there—nothing happened—so it was more a formality than anything."

She held back from mentioning her minor freak out moment. They could talk about that later.

"That's good, right?" he asked. She nodded. "So then you're cleared to be back? Fully?" She nodded again. "Did Sam and Callen bring you up to speed?"

"Just the basics," she said, taking a step towards him discretely. "I wanted to hear the rest from you."

He just nodded, not looking surprised, but he still hesitated, as if he wasn't sure where to begin.

"Maybe we should talk about this at home," she said, understanding his reluctance to open up at work. He smiled at her gratefully. She smiled back at him, and she finally couldn't take it anymore. She pulled him into a hug. "I just want to listen," she whispered into his ear. She smiled as he shivered slightly.

He pulled back and looked down at her. She stared back into his ocean-blue eyes, saying more with her steady gaze than she ever could with her words.

_I hope our son gets his eyes, _she thought. She began to blush—a phenomena that had been happening much too often lately—so she scrunched up her nose to cover it up.

"You stink," she explained, but her arms stayed on his shoulders. He laughed. "Go take a shower."

He waggled his eyes at her suggestively. "Wanna join me?"

This time she couldn't stop the blush his words caused. She scoffed in a lame attempt to cover it up. "Not at work, Deeks."

He just laughed and pulled away from her.

"Yeah, yeah… You say that now. We'll just see how long that lasts," he called over his shoulder before ducking into the men's locker room.

She could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, so she played along, taking off her shoe and tossing it at the door. His answering laugh eased her mind.

_We're going to be okay,_ she told herself sternly. _The past is history, and today is a gift. _

* * *

An hour later she was sitting on the couch. Kensi held back a yawn, wishing for the millionth time that she could have a cup of coffee. Deeks sat down beside her silently.

"So…" Kensi began hesitantly. "What happened today?"

Deeks let out a sigh and ran his fingers unconsciously through his hair. Kensi could literally see his unease, and all she wanted was to make it go away—especially after the day she knew he'd just had.

"Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Kensi said, pulling away from him slightly. "I can just talk to Callen and Sam, and—"

"No," Deeks interrupted her. He pulled her close and settled her head against his chest, leaning his back against the corner of the couch. He wove his fingers into her hair. "No, I want to tell you. It's just… I've never really talked about it. Ever."

"Start from the beginning," she whispered softly. "I'll just listen." She nuzzled her face against his chest. "No matter what, I love you." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach, then placed both of her hands on top of his. She relaxed against him completely and waited patiently for him to speak.

She waited for a long moment, holding her breath and wondering if she'd made the right move. Then he began to speak.

"When we got to the location, I realized it was the bar my… Gordon always went to drink. If he wasn't at home, you could always find him there. My mom used to send me out to look for him—to bring him home to us—like he was someone we'd want around," he said, shaking his head. His thumb began to unconsciously caress her stomach, and she felt a flutter inside her. She just squeezed his hand and waited for him to continue.

"I'd use some of that time to study," he continued, his words tumbling out almost on top of each other. "I always knew where he was, so I'd sneak off with Ray to study for a few minutes before I would head to the bar. Sometimes I'd get a beating at the bar—with my dad's friends helping out—but most of the time he'd take me home first. When he took me home, it usually wasn't too bad, just some bruisings and such. He passed out before it went any farther. But when we stayed at the bar…" he trailed off, but she knew enough about his childhood to fill in the gaps.

She pulled back, desperately needing to look into his eyes—desperately wishing she could take away the pain she knew she'd find there—but he tightened his grip on her. For a moment, she felt a slight sting of rejection, but with the way he was holding onto her, she realized that he just couldn't look into her eyes. Not yet. He had to finish what he was trying to say first.

"It was hard, walking in there today," he said after a long pause. "I saw Howard, Gordon's friend, and he said… he said I look exactly like him. But I…" he paused again, unwilling or unable to voice his deepest fear. Kensi pulled back again, and this time he didn't try to hold her back.

"You what, Deeks?" she prodded gently. She looked into his eyes, using their silent communication to tell him that she understood everything he was trying to voice, and she'd always be there to understand it, even if she hadn't lived it with him.

"I don't want to be anything like him," he admitted in barely a whisper. Her heart clenched at his words.

_You're nothing like him! _she desperately wanted to protest. _I've never met a man more completely opposite! _

But she knew, in that moment, that she needed to stay silent. He needed to finish and get it all out in the open between them.

"You asked me once—when we were taking that _partner_ survey—" she smiled because he so obviously wanted her to—and because she remembered the way he'd grinned and his eyes had sparkled when he'd realized she'd made him take a marriage quiz with her, "what my greatest fear was." She nodded, waiting for him to continue, even as the memory hit her.

_"What's your greatest fear?"_

_"Quicksand. No, headhunters, actually… headhunters, and being buried up to my neck in an anthill… which head hunters do…"_

_"So basically anything in a Tarzan movie."_

_"Pretty much." _

"I don't want to be anything like him," he finally admitted. "And now, especially now… I want to be a good dad. I want to be there for our little mutant ninja assassin. I want to be there for you."

He sighed and pulled her close again, his hands resting over her stomach protectively. She just waited silently, sensing that he still wasn't finished yet.

"I know it's irrational," he said after a long pause, "but it still… haunts me. It always has—even when I was joking about it, it was in the back of my mind—but now that it's a _reality_… Nothing will ever hurt our son, Kensi. Especially not me."

Kensi pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"And that, right there, is why you are going to be the best father in the whole wide world," she said softly. His brow immediately furrowed in confusion, but she hurried to explain before he could protest again. "Look, you grew up with a model of what not to be—both as a father and as a man. And look at the man you've turned out to be, Deeks. You are loyal, and you're the kindest, funniest person I know—and if you repeat that in front of the guys, you'll be sleeping on the couch for eternity—" this got a real laugh out of him, "and you're one of the good guys."

He shook his head, but again she pushed on. "You've had to do things undercover—we all have—but you decided to be this Deeks, the good Deeks. _My Deeks_."

She ran her hand along the stubble of his jaw and pulled him close for a kiss. There was no lust or passion or desire in this kiss. It was trust, plain and simple. When she pulled back she looked into his eyes.

"You will be amazing, Deeks. You're the one who's great with kids, remember? I mean, if we should worry about anyone here, it'd be me." And he smiled, so she figured he did, in fact, remember that particular conversation. "And you're not in this alone. I may not be Miss Domestic, but I am your partner—in _everything_. So we will change diapers and rock to sleep and kiss boo-boos and teach him right from wrong, and we'll do all of that _together_. We'll face all our doubts together."

He nodded, and his bright blue eyes glistened with so many emotions. She didn't have anymore words, so she simply reverted to their standard form of communication. She pulled his face down to hers. This time, the kiss was passion and love and trust and heat and promise all rolled up into one.

When they finally pulled apart, his face broke out into that mischievous grin that she secretly loved. She could see that most of the tension and doubt had been eased away with her words, and she felt her own heart lighten slightly.

"Did Bad-Ass Blye really just say _'boo-boos'_?" he asked in a mockingly incredulous tone.

She tried to glare at him, but she couldn't stop the laugh that escaped from her lips.

"Just shut up and kiss me, Deeks," she demanded, still laughing. He smiled and quickly closed the distance between their lips, but he couldn't resist having the last word.

"You got it, _Boo_."

* * *

Waking up in her partner's strong arms was easily becoming her favorite thing in the world. It felt so natural, like it was something that had been happening for years instead of only three or four times.

If she really thought about it, though, this _was_ something that had been happening for years. It wasn't unusual to find them so tangled up in each other after falling asleep during partner-bonding movie nights. The lack of clothing, however, was a very new and, in Kensi's mind, _welcome_ addition.

As she opened her eyes, she became aware of his hand moving back and forth over her stomach as he held her against his chest. She closed her eyes for a moment and just cherished the feeling. Then she rolled around in his arms and kissed him good morning.

"Mmm… morning," she mumbled against his lips.

"Good morning, Sunshine," he said with a smile, sounding much too awake. She groaned.

"How long have you been up?"

He smirked and pulled her closer. "Only a little while."

She didn't believe him—he'd obviously been up and watching her sleep for awhile—but she didn't call him out on it. Instead she just snuggled deeper into his comforting embrace. It was amazing to her how he calmed her in such subtle ways.

"As much as I'd love to stay in bed all day," he said after a long moment of holding her close, "why don't we head down to the beach for awhile? We can take Monty and walk along the beach…" she smiled and nodded her head eagerly. She really had missed LA. "And we can get you some decaf coffee."

"_Deeks_," she said, a note of warning clear in her tone.

"I know, I know," he said, leaning back and holding up his hands. "And I know I'm pretty much risking any future children," he continued, and she blushed, "but you really shouldn't have caffeine. At least not until we talk to the doctor. But I can promise you this: whatever you have to give up, I have to give up."

And really, how could she stay annoyed with him after that?

"You're right," she sighed. His face broke out into a grin.

"I'm sorry, can I get confirmation that I just heard that?" he teased. She giggled.

"Don't get used to it," she said, shaking her head and turning away to hide her grin. "It won't be happening very often."

He just laughed, and rolled out of bed. They both pulled on some clothes and brushed their teeth. She couldn't help but notice that he left the bathroom to brush his teeth. She wasn't sure if it was intentional or not, but she decided that now was not the time to ask him about it.

She grabbed Monty's leash and called to him.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, thanks to Deeks's apartment's proximity to the beach, they were walking hand-in-hand along the beach. It was still rather early, and the sun was just coming up over the water. He held her hand in one of his, and his free hand held Monty's unclipped leash and his shoes. She held her shoes in her free hand as well. Monty ran ahead of them, chasing seagulls and playing in the surf around the nearly empty beach.

As she looked out across the beach—the same place she'd come to read her father's sniper journal—Kensi couldn't help but think about her own mom, and the difficulties that they'd had.

_What if I turn out exactly like her? Our son doesn't deserve that. And Deeks… _

"You're going to be an amazing mom," Deeks said, breaking the comfortable silence and interrupting.

"How did you know…?" she turned to him, wondering how he could've possibly known what she was thinking. He just shrugged, and she realized that he didn't realize how big of a deal it was. To him, it wasn't hard because he just knew her.

"It just figures that if I'm not my dad, then you're not your mom. We're just Kensi and Deeks—Fern and Max—just a man and a woman in love."

She wanted to believe him more than anything—she really did—but she still couldn't help the small doubt that lingered in the back of her mind.

"It doesn't matter, because you're not going to run away from me, right?" She nodded and he smiled. "And even if you did," he continued, "I'd chase you down anywhere and make you let me in."

She smiled, but she couldn't help but these him.

"Those are some pretty confident words, Detective," she said with a smirk. His eyes beamed down at her in pride, but he managed a somewhat-nonchalant shrug.

"Eh, I have it on good authority that you like me," he said, his eyes twinkling mischievously. She stopped and faced him, her expression turning serious.

"I _love_ you, Deeks," she corrected sternly. His stopped, and his eyes widened in amazement.

"I love you too, Kens," he said leaning down to kiss her softly. "Love you too."

"Hmm… speaking of mothers," Deeks said, pulling back. He didn't continue. He just looked at her expectantly.

"Have you told your mom that you're back?" he finally asked.

Kensi furrowed her brows. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I—I've been with you the whole time I've been home." He smirked at that, and she blushed again.

He laughed, "Are you—"

"Don't finish that thought, Deeks," Kensi interrupted, narrowing her eyes at him. "I'm pregnant." He just laughed harder.

"Is that going to be your excuse for everything from now on?" he asked her, attempting to stifle his laughter.

"Yes," she said shortly, playfully glaring up at him. His laugh died down to a chuckle and he shook his head.

"It's valid," he said simply. She grinned up at him, completely dropping any pretense of being annoyed at him. "Maybe you should," he said after a slight pause.

"Call my mom?" she wondered aloud. He just nodded, staying silent and letting her consider it.

_But what would I tell her? _she wondered to herself. _How can I explain… everything? _

"Does she even know—?" but she couldn't make herself finish the thought.

"Yeah, I uh… I might've called and stopped by. She was calling your house, and—"

"How did you know she was calling my house?" she wondered aloud. This time it was Deeks who blushed. "What's this? Is the great Marty Deeks… _blushing_?"

He looked down and shuffled his feet, mumbling something incoherent. She reveled in his discomfort for a moment before he recollected himself.

"Look, it just started as checking in on your apartment. I know how bad you are about leaving things plugged in, and I didn't want you to come back to a huge electric bill, or anything. And then I just… I couldn't go back to my apartment. Not—not right away. Not after…. And, well, then your mom started to call around Christmas, and I knew she'd get the wrong idea if you didn't answer—which you _couldn't_—and then she called _me_, so I just answered her to let her know, and then she invited me for Christmas, but then we had that case with the Senator's daughter, and I didn't think you'd want me to go, because, well, I wasn't sure what we… were, exactly, you know? And I didn't want to over step—"

"Deeks?" she finally cut in, taking pity on him.

"Hmm, yeah?"

"You're babbling." He chuckled, and she smiled at him. "It's kinda adorable," she said with a slight smirk.

"Good to know," he said, giving her a real, soft smile. "Good. To. Know."

She smiled. "You're right," she said.

"Twice in one day?" he teased her. "What, is it my birthday again already?"

"Not that I'm aware of," she responded dryly. He raised his eyebrows, but she held up her hand to ward off any comment about his last, forgotten birthday. She shook her head in amusement, then turned serious. "I suppose I should call my mom. And maybe… maybe we could have dinner with her tonight? And, uh, tell her about… everything?"

"That sounds perfect, Fern," he said, entwining their fingers together.

* * *

"I'll call mom while you shower," she said awhile later when they walked back into his apartment. He didn't respond, just leaned in, kissed her, and walked to the bathroom. She appreciated his understanding of her need to do this herself and his silent support.

A few minutes later, she heard the shower turn on, and she was still staring at her phone.

_C'mon, Kensi. You can do this. _

She didn't give herself anymore time to psych herself out of it. She just picked up her cell phone and dialed her mom's number.

"_Kensi_?" she answered on the first ring. "Kensi? Is it you?"

Kensi blinked back the tears she suddenly felt welling up in her eyes.

"Yeah mom," she said. "It's me."

"You're back!" Julia exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah mom," she said, keeping her voice even. "I'm back."

"Are you—are you okay? Is everything alright? Marty hasn't called me for a few days, and I was starting to worry that—"

"How often has Deeks been calling you?" Kensi interrupted her mother, suddenly very curious.

"Look, Kensi," her mom said with a sigh, "he was just worried. And he missed you. Have you been to see him yet?"

Even though her mom couldn't see it, she still fought the blush she felt coming.

"Yeah, mom," she said. "Actually, I was calling to see if you wanted to meet us for dinner tonight?"

"Us?" her mom asked, clearly surprised. "Us, as in…?"

"Us as in me and Deeks," Kensi clarified with a smile. Julia was silent for a long moment, and Kensi held her breath. Then her mom let out a laugh, and Kensi let out her breath in relief.

"It's about time," she said. "You tell me when and where and I'll be there."

* * *

"Kensi Blye?" the nurse called out, startling Kensi out of her thoughts. She reached over blindly, searching for Deeks's hand. She found it and looked up at him. He was standing in front of her, and he gently pulled her to her feet.

"You ready, Fern?" he asked quietly. She could see the anxiety still present in his eyes, even after their conversation from the night before. She nodded, determined to push her doubts away and make this a positive experience for him.

"Let's do this."

His smile widened as he understood the double meaning to her words. He leaned in and gave her a chaste peck on the lips.

"Let's do this, Fern."

They followed the nurse back to a room that was horribly decorated in pastels, with pictures of fetal development plastered on the walls. She took Kensi's vitals, asked general health questions, and exited the room, telling them the doctor would be with them soon.

Kensi glanced at the posters covering the walls in disgust, and she looked over at Deeks, waiting for him to make a sarcastic comment. Her partner, however, was engrossed in reading a pamphlet. She couldn't make out the whole title, but it looked like something about an expectant mother's diet.

His brow was furrowed, and his eyes were narrowed in concentration. She couldn't help but think of him in law school, studying like that for his exams. Sometimes it was so easy to forget his past achievements.

"You know there's not going to be a test, Counselor ," she teased him, bumping his shoulder with hers. That snapped him out of it, and he turned to face her.

"Yeah, I know," he said, giving her his most charming grin. She bit her tongue, knowing it would never do for him to see how much that smile affected her. "But I really want to know everything I can."

He turned back to the pamphlet, and she just shook her head, fighting back a laugh. She knew he was completely serious by the look in his eyes and the set of his jaw.

_His jaw… _

And then, he was just irresistible to her. It came over her suddenly—completely without warning—but she just needed to touch him. Acting on pure desire, she reached her hand out to touch his face. He turned toward her, and his expectant expression froze in place as she leaned forward and kissed him.

It took him a moment to respond, but when he did, he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. Kensi reached her hands up to cup his face, her fingers stroking his jaw back and forth.

Just as she was starting to feel some satisfaction, a knock on the door startled them apart. Deeks's eyes were wide, excited, and slightly confused.

"What was that for?" he whispered. Before she could respond, the knock sounded again, so she just smiled at him.

"Come in," she answered the knock.

A man in his early fifties entered the room in a white coat.

"Hello, Ms. Blye. My name is Dr. Smith," he reached out and shook her hand and then Deeks's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's, uh, nice to meet you too, Dr. Smith," Kensi said, nervously returning his friendly smile. Deeks squeezed her hand reassuringly, and she felt herself calm down.

"So how far along are you thinking you are?" he asked, looking down at his clipboard.

"Two months, two weeks, and four days," Kensi answered, without having to think about it. Deeks looked over at her in surprise, and she looked down, blushing.

"Wow, that's very… specific. You are sure?" Dr. Smith asked, clearly surprised.

"Yes," Kensi said tersely. "Very."

"Alright. Can I… ask why you've waited so long to come in for a check up?" Dr. Smith asked, setting his clipboard aside. "You're almost through your first trimester."

"Well, uh, I was sent to Afg—overseas, and um…" Kensi stuttered, unsure of how to respond.

"Kensi was sent on an indefinite assignment at a new art museum in Afghanistan," Deeks cut in. Kensi sent him a grateful look. "It was sudden, and neither of us were expecting it."

Dr. Smith nodded in understanding.

"Okay. I understand that this was unexpected, am I correct?" he asked. Kensi nodded. "And when what the last date you took your prescription birth control?" he asked. Kensi's brow furrowed as she thought back.

_When was the last time? _she wondered to herself. She thought back to the nights they'd spent together—before the torture—when her dating had just slowly puttered out and then stopped completely. She thought back over the months that Deeks had been recovering from his torture, and the subsequent sleepless nights. She thought back over the time, after that one night of Yummy Yummy Heart Attack, when she'd stayed with him every night, even after he'd come back to work. And finally, she thought back over their non-date, and the night that had followed.

_Nope. No birth control since…_

"Ms. Blye?" Dr. Smith's voice startled her out of her thoughts.

"Um… probably not since, um… around, uh… maybe May? Of… of last year? Maybe?" Deeks turned to her, clearly surprised, and Kensi looked down at her lap, fiddling with her hands and trying to push down her blush. "Work was really busy, and then it got… um… _stressful_, and uh, my normal routines just kinda went out the window."

"Good," Dr. Smith said. "That's usually something we like to catch in the first month, or so. And it goes without saying that you won't start again until after the baby is born."

Kensi looked back up at the doctor and nodded.

"And have you had any alcohol consumption since you became pregnant?"

Kensi shook her head, grateful for the fact that she'd been able to protect her son in that way, at least. Dr. Smith nodded and jotted something down on his clipboard.

"And nutrition? You're looking a little malnourished."

"Oh, well I've been, uh, eating mostly MREs," Kensi responded without thinking. "I mean… uh, the museum over there buys… excess from the military, and, uh…"

_You are a damn good undercover agent_, she berated herself. _Why is it suddenly impossible to lie?_

"Henrietta Lang called to set up the appointment, Ms. Blye," Dr. Smith said with a knowing smile. "She and I have a… history together. I am very aware of your occupation."

Instead of being surprised—as she probably should've been—she was just relieved.

"Yeah. The MREs aren't exactly… the greatest meals. And the last few weeks, I've been feeling nauseous."

"Have you just been nauseous, or have you vomited?" he asked.

"Not until yesterday morning," she admitted. "But I haven't felt great for a few weeks."

"Alright, well, I'll write you a prescription for some pre-natal vitamins, along with some anti-nausea medication to help with the morning sickness. Only take that when you need it," he said, writing something out on a piece of paper.

Kensi nodded and accepted the doctor's note. As she looked down at the doctor's prescription, she couldn't help be become overwhelmed.

"Since you're almost at three months," Dr. Smith interrupted her thoughts, "we'll be able to hear the baby's heart beat. An ultrasound isn't really required, but given the amount of stress you've been under, I'd like to take a look at things. We won't be able to determine gender until the next appointment."

Kensi looked over at Deeks—grateful for the millionth time that they could communicate so throughly with only their eyes. She saw his quiet, almost enthusiastic agreement before he even really reacted.

He nodded at her, so she turned her smile to the doctor and nodded. He smiled back at her and helped her get set up. A few minutes later, a black and white image appeared on the ultrasound screen. As she looked over at the screen, she felt an overwhelming love that she'd never felt before in her life. She loved her that baby so very much, and she loved its father even more than she'd ever thought possible.

She looked over at Deeks, but he was staring up at the screen with a look of complete awe on his face. He must have sensed her gaze, because she turned to him. The moment their eyes met, they heard the life-changing sound of their baby's strong, steady heart beat, and they smiled.

_This is the future._

* * *

**_Thanks for reading! Reviews make my day :)_**


	8. The Future

_**AN: I am so, so, so, SO sorry it has taken me so long to update. I don't have much time to write when I go home, and I went home over Spring Break, which got me totally off rhythm, and then it just wouldn't write itself. Rude, I know… I hope some of you are still with me :)**_

_**Thank you so much, Fern, for looking this over for me! (And those of you who are excited to see this update, she's the one to thank. Seriously.) I wouldn't make it without you :)**_

_**Please leave me a review, and let me know if you have ideas for where to take this from here :)**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

Deeks shifted in the stiff, uncomfortable chair, his left leg bouncing up and down. He fiddled with his hands, which were resting in his lap, and tried to push his doubts aside.

_"And that, right there, is why you are going to be the best father in the whole wide world. Look, you grew up with a model of what not to be—both as a father and as a man. And look at the man you've turned out to be, Deeks. You are loyal, and you're the kindest, funniest person I know—and if you repeat that in front of the guys, you'll be sleeping on the couch for eternity—and you're one of the good guys." _

Kensi's words from the night before replayed over and over in his mind. He'd heard her loud and clear, and he knew she believed her words completely, but the doubt still lingered in his mind. He knew it would linger there until he was able to put Martin Brandel to rest for good, and he had a bad feeling that the road to that particular accomplishment would not be easy.

_Then again,_ he mused to himself, _nothing good ever is. _

"Kensi Blye?" the nurse called out, startling Deeks right out of his seat. Pushing back all his negative thoughts, he turned back to Kensi, and saw her reach blindly to where he'd been sitting beside her. It was time to focus on the joy of the moment. She looked up at him as he grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet.

"You ready, Fern?" he asked quietly. He did his best to push his doubts and fears to the side. This was a happy time—the moment they would finally see their baby—and he was determined to enjoy every second of it. Kensi looked up into his eyes and nodded, a determined glint in her eyes too.

"Let's do this," she said with a smile. He smiled back, hearing the double meaning to her words. He couldn't think of a proper response, so he leaned in and gave her a soft kiss—that had always worked better for them than words, anyways.

"Let's do this, Fern."

They followed the nurse back to a room that was horribly decorated in pastels, with pictures of fetal development plastered on the walls. She took Kensi's vitals, asked general health questions, and exited the room, telling them the doctor would be with them soon.

As soon as they entered the room, Deeks's eyes had been drawn to the display of pamphlets, and his thought from earlier to get some literature on pregnancy came back to him. He grabbed the first one he saw—appropriately titled _The Pregnancy Diet_—and started reading.

The pamphlet outlined the dos and don'ts for pregnant women. He nodded as he read about caffeine restrictions. He'd been right—caffeine wasn't healthy for the baby—but Kensi could still have it in moderation. That would be a fact he would keep to himself and use if/when a situation demanded it.

"You know there's not going to be a test, Counselor," Kensi's teasing voice interrupted his intense concentration. She bumped his shoulder with hers, and he looked over at her.

"Yeah, I know," he said, giving her his most charming grin. He noticed her blush, but after their conversation on the beach that morning, he decided to let it slide. "But I really want to know everything I can."

He turned back to the pamphlet, and he watched out of the corner of his eye as she shook her head, clearly fighting back a laugh.

_I wonder what kind of cravings she'll have?_ he wondered to himself as he turned back to reading. _It says here that they'll be unusual to the mother's normal diet… so will she be craving healthy things? _He smirked slightly at that thought. _No, that would just be strange. And she'd never—_

Kensi's hand was suddenly on his face, and he willingly turned toward her, mouth opened to question her. The question died on his lips, however, when he saw the hungry look in her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed him.

Kensi reached her hands up to cup his face, her fingers stroking his jaw back and forth. Just as he finally surrendered his confusion and kissed her back, a knock on the door startled them apart. Deeks just looked at Kensi—her hair mused and her lips slightly swollen—in confusion.

"What was that for?" he whispered. But before she could respond with more than a soft smile, the knock sounded again.

"Come in," she answered the knock.

Deeks looked up as a man in his early fifties entered the room. He was dressed in a white coat and had a stethoscope around his neck. Deeks ran his hand through his hair, trying simultaneously to straighten it and silently explain it's messiness.

"Hello, Ms. Blye. My name is Dr. Smith," he reached out and shook her hand and then Deeks's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's, uh, nice to meet you too, Dr. Smith," Kensi said, nervously returning his friendly smile. Deeks squeezed her hand reassuringly, and her breathing evened out again. Deeks was thankful for their ability to communicate silently through only looks and small touches.

"So how far along are you thinking you are?" he asked, looking down at his clipboard.

"Two months, two weeks, and four days," Kensi answered immediately. Deeks couldn't help the surprise that showed on his face.

_She really remembers the exact night? _

He got a warm feeling at the thought, and a smile spread across his face as she ducked her head, trying and failing to hide her blush.

"Wow, that's very… specific. You are sure?" Dr. Smith asked, mirroring Deeks's surprise.

"Yes," Kensi said tersely. "Very."

"Alright. Can I… ask why you've waited so long to come in for a check up?" Dr. Smith asked, setting his clipboard aside. "You're almost through your first trimester."

"Well, uh, I was sent to Afg—overseas, and um…" Kensi stuttered, clearly unsure of how to respond.

"Kensi was sent on an indefinite assignment at a new art museum in Afghanistan," Deeks stepped in. Kensi sent him a grateful look. "It was sudden, and neither of us were expecting it."

Dr. Smith nodded in understanding.

"Okay. I understand that this was unexpected, am I correct?" he asked. Kensi nodded. "And when what the last date you took your prescription birth control?" he asked.

Deeks turned to Kensi, honestly curious about her answer. Kensi's brow furrowed as she became lost in thought.

"Ms. Blye?" Dr. Smith's caused Kensi to jump. Deeks felt a slight wave of confusion at the faraway look on Kensi's face.

"Um… probably not since, um… around, uh… maybe May? Of… of last year? Maybe?" Deeks didn't know what he'd been expecting her to say, but it certainly wasn't that. "Work was really busy, and then it got… um… _stressful_, and uh, my normal routines just kinda went out the window."

_All those late nights—spent semi-platonically on the couch—and then after… everything… and then… _

It meant the world to him that it hadn't been just him who'd stopped seeing anyone but her. It warmed his heart to realize that even when he'd hidden himself away, she'd waited for him. He looked over to Kensi, but she was looking down at her lap, fiddling with her hands and trying to disguise her blush.

"Good," Dr. Smith said. "That's usually something we like to catch in the first month, or so. And it goes without saying that you won't start again until after the baby is born."

Kensi looked back up at the doctor and nodded, but Deeks was still busy studying Kensi. The way she'd been blushing lately greatly amused him, and if this was indeed caused by pregnancy—as she'd vehemently claimed—then he wanted to enjoy every second of it. It wasn't often that even _he_ could get a real blush out of Bad Ass Blye.

"And have you had any alcohol consumption since you became pregnant?"

Kensi shook her head, a grateful look on her face that Deeks felt mirrored on his own face. Dr. Smith nodded and jotted something down on his clipboard.

"And nutrition? You're looking a little malnourished."

Deeks couldn't agree more.

"Oh, well I've been, uh, eating mostly MREs," Kensi responded without thinking. "I mean… uh, the museum over there buys… excess from the military, and, uh…"

He could tell she was beating herself up about her inability to lie, so he opened his mouth to step in. The doctor beat him to it.

"Henrietta Lang called to set up the appointment, Ms. Blye," Dr. Smith said with a knowing smile. "She and I have a… history together. I am very aware of your occupation."

Deeks really wasn't surprised.

_That's my boss,_ he thought with a smirk. _Besides, before I was _pretty_ sure she was the master of the universe. Now I'm certain. She must be._

"Yeah. The MREs aren't exactly… the greatest meals," Kensi said, sounding a lot like he did when he started babbling. "And the last few weeks, I've been feeling nauseous."

"Have you just been nauseous, or have you vomited?" Dr. Smith asked, effectively and discretely cutting off Kensi's babble before it really got going. Deeks shot the doctor a grateful smile, and he nodded discretely in reply.

"Not until yesterday morning," she admitted. "But I haven't felt great for a few weeks."

"Alright, well, I'll write you a prescription for some pre-natal vitamins, along with some anti-nausea medication to help with the morning sickness. Only take that when you need it," he said, writing something out on a piece of paper.

Kensi nodded and accepted the doctor's note. As she looked down at the doctor's prescription, Deeks could tell she was becoming overwhelmed. Deeks couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking about so intently.

"Since you're almost at three months," Dr. Smith interrupted his thoughts, "we'll be able to hear the baby's heart beat. An ultrasound isn't really required, but given the amount of stress you've been under, I'd like to take a look at things. We won't be able to determine gender until the next appointment."

Kensi looked over at Deeks, asking a silent question with her eyes. He nodded at her, so she turned her smile to the doctor and nodded. Dr. Smith smiled back at her and helped her get set up. A few minutes later, a black and white image appeared on the ultrasound screen. Deeks's eyes locked onto that screen, and for that moment in time, absolutely nothing existed outside Kensi's hand in his and the picture on that screen. When a small, faint outline appeared on the screen, he felt an overwhelming love that he'd never felt before in his life. He loved their baby so very much, and he loved its mother even more than words could describe.

He felt Kensi's gaze on him, so he tore his eyes away from the screen. The moment their eyes met, they heard the life-changing sound of their baby's strong, steady heart beat, and they smiled.

_This is the future. _

* * *

"Mr. Deeks!" a voice called from behind him. Deeks felt his heart sink to his feet. "Detective." The voice called again.

Kensi looked up at him questioningly when he stopped. He had hoped that they would be able to just enjoy the moment, but he should've known that that wasn't to be. Dr. Garcia was the last person he'd wanted to run into.

"Dr. Garcia," he said, turning around to greet the older doctor. "What are you doing here?"

"I've got my rounds today," the doctor replied. "How have you been, Detective?"

Deeks felt Kensi's hand slip into his, and he managed a smile for Dr. Garcia. "I've been good, thank you."

"I've been trying to get ahold of you," the doctor continued. "You never filled that prescription for pain pills I gave you… what, about a month ago now. Was there a problem?"

"No," Deeks said, shaking his head and ignoring Kensi's concerned look. "No problem. I just didn't need them."

Dr. Garcia didn't look convinced, but he nodded anyways. "You still need to come back in for your month check up—to make sure that your jaw is healing properly again. I know for a fact that this happened over a month before you came in. You put off coming in then, and I can see that you are putting off coming back in now. I won't hesitate to call that scary emergency contact of yours, you know. She will make you come in."

Deeks winced at the idea of Hetty knowing about this particular issue—as if she didn't know already anyways—so he just nodded his head.

"I'll call you sometime next week to set up an appointment."

"Alright, Detective," Dr. Garcia said. Deeks let out a sigh of relief. He could play this off as a normal check up to Kensi, and she wouldn't have to feel guilty. Then the doctor smiled. "And try to keep from falling down anymore stairs."

Deeks nodded curtly, grabbed Kensi's arm, and pulled her out of the clinic. They'd almost reached the car when Kensi pulled her arm out of his grasp. Deeks took one more step, closing his eyes and putting some distance between them. He kept his back toward her, avoiding looking into her eyes for as long as he could.

"You… didn't fall down the stairs, Deeks," she said, her tone full of realization. "You don't have stairs at your apartment. You didn't fall down the stairs."

"No," Deeks said, turning around slowly to face her. "No, I didn't fall down the stairs."

Her brow furrowed in confusion at his monotone answer. "Then… why—why did you tell Dr. Garcia that you did?" she asked, but she looked afraid of the answer.

_Because I couldn't tell him the truth!_ he wanted to say, but then, he really couldn't say that either.

"Look, this is a joyful moment. Can't we just let this be a joyful moment, Kens?" Deeks pleaded. Kensi crossed her arms across her chest, her eyes took on a determined glint, and Deeks immediately realized that she wouldn't be letting it go anytime soon.

"No Deeks," she said. Her soft volume belied the firmness of her tone. "Dr. Garcia said that you—that you r-re broke your jaw. About two months ago."

Deeks couldn't do anything but nod, hating that she was figuring it out.

"Which is in the same time frame that I was reassigned." Again, Deeks could only nod. "And you weren't hurt after I left?"

There was only a slight hope in her voice, but Deeks knew he wouldn't be able to lie to her. She knew him far too well for that. He shook his head.

"So it was me." It was a statement, not a question, but Deeks nodded anyway. Kensi's sharp inhalation propelled Deeks to action.

"Look, Kensi," he said, taking a half-step towards her, "it's not a big deal. I mean, it _is_, but we talked about it. We're good. We can just let it go."

"_No!_ I can_not_ just let this go. One exhausted conversation outside a bar does _not_ count, and if we don't talk about it—get it all out in the open—then every time we have some semblance of joy in our lives, something like this—our terrible communication skills or _something_—is always going to pop back up to ruin it."

_Okay, no,_ Deeks thought, feeling a small spark of anger. _She doesn't get to put that all on me. I'm not the only one who doesn't say what they mean. _

"And before you say it," she said before he could speak, "I know it's not just you. In fact, it's mostly me. It's just… you and I, we have… so much more to lose."

Deeks felt all of his frustration and anger dissipate at her words.

"Because of the baby?"

"Well… yes, because of the baby. But," she continued, "not only the baby. Because… I—I _love_ you so much. More than…" her voice broke down to a whisper. "More than I've ever loved anyone. _Ever_."

Her words washed over him, and he couldn't help but wonder how he ever could've been upset with her in the first place. He could see the love shining in her eyes, but they were also glazed over with fear.

"And that scares you," he whispered, not sure if he was speaking to himself or to her. She nodded. "_Why_ does that scare you?" he wondered aloud. This was completely crazy. They were standing in the parking lot of a medical clinic, but he didn't see anything but her. He didn't hear the traffic around him—the horns blaring and the people yelling—he just heard her whispered reply.

"I almost lost you."

He wanted to comfort her—to tell her that she'd never been in danger of losing him and she never would be—but he couldn't lie to her.

"I almost lost myself," he admitted. Her eyes widened, but he pressed on before she could say anything. "But you didn't let me. You helped jump start me out of that place. So we had a bump two months ago, and I re-broke my jaw." He took another step forward so that he was in her personal space. "I'd go through that a million times over if it means I get to have you."

He wiped away a stray tear that escaped from her eye, then let his hand trail down her arm and settle against the skin of her abdomen.

"I'd go back through it a million times over," he whispered as he rested his forehead against hers, "because it means that we created this baby—our little mutant ninja assassin—and we are a family. A _family_, Kens."

"A family," she repeated, a smile forming on her lips. "I like that. I—I _love_ that."

"I love _you_," he said with a grin. She shook her head lightly, but a chuckle escaped nonetheless.

"I love you, too."

He closed his eyes, reveling in her words. He'd never get used to hearing them fall from her lips. An unusually close, loud horn caused his eyes to snap open, and he sighed.

"I know that this isn't it," he said softly. "I'm not going to lie to you. The nightmares… they're not gone." She looked into his eyes, her own mismatched ones unreadable. "But I've been patient, right?" She gave him a small smile and nodded.

"And we're talking," she said softly. He smiled in agreement.

"That we are, Kens," he said. "But I think we'll have to take it a little at a time. We have a lot to cover."

She smiled sadly, nodding, and he had the sudden, familiar urge to make her laugh.

"It may take us awhile to talk, but it only took us one night to create a mutant ninja assassin," he said with a mischievous smile as he opened her door with a grand, over exaggerated bow. His words had the desired effect, and he had the pleasure of seeing her face light up bright red.

"Deeks!" she screeched, playfully shoving his shoulder. "Really?!"

"What?" he asked, giving her his best innocent grin as she looked away and climbed into the car. It didn't matter that he knew she'd never buy it.

"Oh, don't look at me like it was my fault, Princess," he smirked as he shut her door and went around to the other side of the car. "May? You really just _stopped_ taking birth control in May? And you didn't think to… I don't know… _mention_ that?"

He was teasing her, and by her laugh, she knew it.

"W-well, it's not like you—like you stopped for protection, or anything, Shaggy," she sputtered in response. He let out a genuine laugh, grateful for the return of their playful banter. He leaned over and whispered into her ear.

"Neither did you, Fern." She shivered. "Neither did you."

* * *

When they finally got back to Deeks's apartment, they were both physically and emotionally drained. They curled up in bed, Deeks set the alarm to give them plenty of time before they met Julia, and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Two hours later, they were awoken by the gentle alarm. Kensi groaned and rolled over in his arms.

"It can't be time to get up already," she complained, nuzzling deeper into Deeks's arms. He couldn't help but chuckle softly at her slightly petulant tone.

"Well, Princess," he said softly, "we're meeting up with your mom tonight. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you have anything _suitable_ to wear here."

She made an unintelligible noise and slipped her head under her pillow.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" he asked, not even trying to hold back his laugh. The pillow suddenly hit him in the face, but it didn't faze him in the least.

"I said," she said slowly as she glared at him, "that… you're right." He only laughed harder.

"Wow, what is that? Three whole times now?" he teased her. Her serious face crumbled, and a smile lit her face.

"I told you not to get used to it. You've just been getting lucky." He raised his eyebrows at that. "Dammit, Deeks, that is so _not_ what I meant!"

"Hey, I didn't say a word!" he protested, raising his hands in surrender. She just glared up at him. "Geez, what's got you so cranky?" he asked, laying back down and bumping her shoulder with his own.

"I was comfy sleeping," she said in a child-like tone of complaint. He laughed again.

"Well you know, if we didn't have to go back to your place, you could've slept longer."

She froze, and he immediately regretted his words. He hadn't meant to blurt them out like that. And certainly not yet. She wasn't ready. She couldn't be ready. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he was ready to have this conversation. At the moment, his mind was screaming _NO_!

"Is… is this your way of asking me to move in with you?" she finally asked, raising her eyebrows. He shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. He was unconsciously holding his breath, and his heart was beating frantically, but he was a trained undercover operator, dammit, so he clung to his nonchalance. "It's not very romantic," she groused. He let out a genuine, relieved chuckle at her words.

_Maybe we are ready,_ he realized.

"Yeah, well I didn't want to scare you away with too much romancing," he said. He added a wink to lighten the mood, but he could tell by the darkening of her face that he hadn't completely suppressed his serious, slightly fearful tone.

"I'm not running, Deeks," she said, placing a hand gently on his jaw. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving that to you. I'm not running," she repeated.

He shivered lightly as he comprehend the full meaning of her words. He took a deep breath and then said exactly what he meant.

"So you're saying a little romancing couldn't hurt?" he clarified. She narrowed her eyes at him, and he laughed. "We're a family now, Fern. I mean, I've thought of you as my family for a long time now—where you go, I go, remember?—so I guess what I'm saying is that I want it all. I want to move in together, and someday—if you'll let me—I want to marry you."

She didn't say anything, and Deeks briefly felt a wave of panic.

_Did I push too far? Is she going to break her promise and run away? What if— _

Her lips on his cut off his train of thought, and he gladly returned the kiss, surrendering his worries to the sensations that she stirred in him. After several long, passionate moments, he finally pulled back so he could look into her beautiful, captivating, mismatched eyes.

"So is that a yes?" he asked with a smile. She rolled her eyes and smiled back at him, pulling him in for another long, passionate kiss.

"_Yes_, Deeks," she said breathlessly. "_Yes_ it's a _yes_."

He smiled briefly before attaching their lips once again. For several long moments, he became lost in the passion that spread so quickly between them. He finally managed to pull back, and she let out a moan of discontent at the sudden distance.

He smirked at her, but they were both catching their breath. After a moment, he said, "We have to get cleaned up to go meet your mom."

She nodded, and her eyes took on a mischievous look that made him think he'd been rubbing off on her.

"I…" she said, ghosting her fingertips across his chest, up his arms, and into his hair, "…need a shower."

He grinned, catching her drift.

"So do I," he said, smirking down at her. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to… conserve water?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

She nodded with a mock serious expression.

"Of course," she said. Her lips twitched, but she fought back the smile. "I'm nothing if not… eco-_friendly_."

"So friendly, Fern," he said, bringing his lips lightly to hers. She pulled back before either of them could deepen the kiss, giggled, and bolted to the bathroom, Deeks hot on her heels.

* * *

"Kensi!" Julia's voice—soft and full of absolute joy—greeted them as they walked into the restaurant several minutes late.

"Hey mom!" Kensi said, pulling away from Deeks to hug her mom. Deeks smiled at the sight, and Julia pulled away from Kensi, her eyes scanning her daughter up and down.

"You're okay?" she asked, her eyes tight with concern. Kensi smiled.

"Yeah mom," she said. "I'm good."

Julia nodded and turned her attention to Deeks.

"Marty!" she said with a smile. She reached over and pulled him into a firm hug. "It's so good to see you again."

Deeks pushed back his surprise at Julia's rather friendly meeting—he only knew her through the few times he'd been with Kensi when they'd run into her, and of course their weekly conversations once he'd finally told her Kensi had been reassigned. He just hugged her back and smiled. If Julia was accepting him, he sure wasn't going to question it.

"My, my," Julia said as she pulled back. "Don't you two make a handsome couple. I'm so glad you've—"

"I thought you said you didn't tell her!" Kensi interrupted, shooting a semi-serious glare at Deeks. Deeks laughed and held up his hands.

"I didn't say anything, I swear!"

"Actually, you told me, Kensi," Julia cut in. Deeks could't help but smirk at her in victory. Kensi's brow furrowed in confusion.

"I did?" she wondered aloud. "When?"

"The day we reconnected," Julia stated calmly. Now Deeks was confused, too. "You said Marty was the reason you came over," she explained. "And then, all those mornings I ran into the two of you—bickering in the grocery store, or shopping at the mall—well, I guess I just assumed…"

"No, this is—it's new, mom," Kensi said. Deeks just raised his eyebrows at her and leaned in to whisper discretely in her ear.

"Not since May, Kensalina," he reminded her. He enjoyed the blush she couldn't hide at his whispered words. "Not really new."

Kensi shivered at his touch, and he smirked to himself.

"Newly official," she qualified, speaking more to Deeks than her mom. Deeks felt his smile widen.

"Or just _officially_ official," he said. Kensi rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Shaggy," she said with a mischievous wink. "Because that's not the department of the redundancy department."

Deeks just laughed. "Touché."

For a moment, the restaurant disappeared—the noise faded to nothing—and he let himself get lost in her mismatched eyes. Eventually, Julia's laugh snapped them out of it, and they both glanced back at her sheepishly.

"So, exactly how long has this newly, officially-official thing been… official?" she asked with a smile as they were seated at a small table in the corner so that both Kensi and Deeks could have a good view of the entire restaurant.

Deeks just chuckled, turning to Kensi with a smirk.

"What was it, Fern?" he asked, pretending to think. "Two months, two weeks, and… how many days?"

"Four, you idiot," she said with a playful glare. "Two months, two weeks, and four days."

"Wow, you two are too cute," Julia said, shaking her head, a smile on her lips.

Kensi blushed, and Deeks laughed, clamping his mouth shut to force himself to swallow his mouth full of water.

"Mostly her," he said when he'd finally managed to swallow.

Deeks looked over to Kensi, realizing that they'd been so… busy that they hadn't discussed how they'd tell Julia about the baby. He met her gaze steadily, silently asking her when they were going to tell Julia about the baby. She just nodded her head.

"Mom, there was actually a reason that we asked you to come out with us tonight," she said. Julia turned her attention to Kensi, and Deeks couldn't help but hold his breath. "I'm—I'm, uh…" Kensi paused and tried again. "Deeks and I are…" she paused again and Deeks reached over to take her hand.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small black and white photo of their baby. He smiled down at it before meeting Kensi's grateful gaze. He handed it to her and nodded for her to continue.

"We're having a baby, mom," Kensi said, her voice steady and full of joy. Once again, Deeks held his breath as he waited for Julia's reaction. She was silent for a long moment, and Deeks's mind went into overdrive.

_She's going to think it was too soon,_ his mind worried. _This is crazy, and she's going to be angry, and Kensi'll be upset, and I can't let that happen, but what can I really do? I mean—_

"A—a baby?" Julia's amazed voice rang out, followed by a huge smile. "Oh, that's the greatest news I—I've ever heard!" she exclaimed. Deeks let out a relieved sigh and exchanged smiles with Kensi. "I'm going to be a grandma."

"We only found out a few days ago," Kensi told her mom, handing her the picture. "We had our first appointment this morning."

Julia stared down at the picture and wiped away a stray tear.

"Beautiful," she whispered. Deeks couldn't agree more.

After that, the conversation drifted to lighter, joyful topics such as the baby, their plan to move in together, and Kensi's childhood.

Julia and Deeks were laughing—and Kensi was blushing—about a childhood incident involving paint-filled balloons when Deeks's phone buzzed, interrupting their easy conversation. He glanced down at it and frowned.

"I'm sorry… it's Hetty." He glanced over at Kensi apologetically, but all he could read in her eyes was understanding. "I have to take this. I'll be back in just a moment."

He stood up and walked swiftly out of the restaurant.

"Deeks," he answered when he was outside.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner, Mr. Deeks," Hetty said. Deeks just shook his head, no longer surprised at Hetty's ability to know absolutely everything. "It appears that our friend Mr. Ortega has decided to contact your… alias."

Deeks felt his heart drop to his toes. "And I need to come in to make contact with him tonight."

"It would be suspicious for you to not call him back this evening," Hetty confirmed.

"Understood," Deeks said. "We'll head back as soon as we finish up here."

* * *

The team gathered around the table in OPS, and Deeks dialed the number to the burner phone he'd sent with Ray into WitSec. They had all agreed that it was probably the best way to reach him quickly. He put the phone on speaker, placed it on the center of the table, and listened. The phone rang three times before Ray's voice answered.

"Marty!" he said, clearly excited. "Long time no chat!"

"Hey Ray," he said, smiling in spite of himself. It was good to hear his oldest friend's voice. "Listen, I—"

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this call," Ray interrupted, before Deeks could get the warning out. The whole team—including Kensi—looked over at him curiously.

"Ray, I'm—"

"So that _thing_ with Wikipedia finally worked out, huh? Did you guys finally—"

"Ray, you're on speaker phone!" Deeks finally shouted, interrupting his friends unintentional bumbling before he could say anything that would cause Callen or Sam to kill him.

"Wikipedia?" Eric asked quietly to Nell, but she just shrugged and shook her head. Deeks just closed his eyes, officially wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

"Speaker phone?" Ray repeated, clearly confused.

"You're on speaker with Deeks's whole team," Sam chimed in.

"Hey Ray," Kensi added.

"Hey Wikipedia!" Ray greeted sheepishly. "Geez, Marty. Warn a guy."

"Well I tried to," Deeks said, finally laughing at the team's stunned faces. "But you and your big mouth kinda ran away before I could stop you."

"Oh. So you _haven't_ worked out your thing? Wow, this is awkward. Sorry Kensi."

"Oh, you apologize to her and not me?" Deeks demanded. Ray chuckled, and Deeks shook his head. "And for your information, Ray, 'our thing' _is_ working out."

"That's one way to put it," Sam muttered. Deeks shot him a glare, and he wisely shut up.

"Then why am I just getting a call now? And why the hell am I on speaker with your whole team for this?" Ray demanded good-naturedly.

"I'm afraid, Mr. Mitchell, that this is not a social call," Hetty said, appearing seemingly from nowhere. None of the team members even jumped—all of them used to Hetty's strange ways—but Ray didn't have the same luxury.

"What the hell, Marty?!" Ray exclaimed. "Why didn't you warn me the ninja was there?"

"Dude!" Deeks said with a groan. "_Still_ on speaker."

"I think you'll find that ninjas don't need to be in the same state to… operate," Hetty cut in, her voice stony, but her expression was slightly amused. "I'm afraid that some… connections to your past—and Mr. Deeks's past as Martin Brandel—have resurfaced."

* * *

_**Thanks for reading, and I'm really sorry it took so long. I'm back now, promise! Review? (hopeful smile)**_


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